Welcome And The Meaning Of Burn

SPEAKER_01 0:13

Welcome back to another episode of The Burn. I am Ben Newman, and you know how we do this every single week. We're gonna bring you a story of an athlete, an entertainer, a celebrity, somebody from the business world who's helped us understand that why and purpose is not enough. It's that underlying burn that actually ignites your why and purpose and causes you to show up on the days you don't feel like it, and especially after you win. Today's guest, I've got to tell you, when we talk about showing up and winning and maximizing opportunity, this is an individual that, because of challenge and adversity, similar to the challenge and adversity that I faced in losing my mom, that gave perspective. If my mom passed at 38 and I turned 48 next month, that's 10 extra years that my mom never got. You better darn well believe I'm gonna own every single day and the gift and the blessing that the day is. Different adversity. We're gonna let let her tell you about it. But Jen Drummond is somebody who has decided to take on life. After tragedy, she said, now I'm gonna live a life on purpose. And so I think you may hear some similarities in terms of the appreciation for every day. Jen Drummond is a two-time world record setting mountaineer. She's exited businesses, she's a mother of seven. So when you talk about tapping into your capacity and giving everything that you have in life one day at a time, Jen Drummond knows a little bit about that. So, Jen Drummond, welcome to the burn.

SPEAKER_00 1:46

Oh my gosh, thank you so much for having me here today. Super excited.

SPEAKER_01 1:50

Well, so so excited to have you. And I I've heard you on other interviews before. And so that have the opportunity to have you on the show. I'm super excited for. I just want to get right down to it because I think our burns probably are similar. Can you share how how tragedy

The Crash That Changed Everything

SPEAKER_01 2:05

for you has really helped you now empower and inspire people to realize that someday is now today?

SPEAKER_00 2:13

Yes. Um, so in 2018, I got into a car crash that should have killed me. Um, and I actually had a choice, believe it or not, to leave or stay. And that choice to leave was very enticing, but I kept saying, I have seven kids, I have seven kids, I have more to do on this planet. And so I survived. Um, and I'll like I remember coming home being so grateful to be alive. And then I was shocked at how quickly that was replaced with anger. And people were like, anger? I'm like, yeah. I go, because I had had this huge some days list, all these things that I wanted to do, but I was being the good girl and saving myself for later and doing all the things that everybody else said I should be doing. I'm like, oh my gosh, I almost died and never lived any of my somedays so that I could have, you know, PTA brownies brought in, or this, that, or the other thing, that whatever, um, choices that I was no longer going to be making. And that um that accident really woke me up to living and made me realize someday is today. Like it's today. And if you postpone everything, or if you say if then, more often than not, um, you're just robbing yourself of joy.

SPEAKER_01 3:29

And those somedays, I know part of it led to an appreciation for every day, an appreciation that like you better do it now, mindset. How much of that has become that burn for you to be an example for your kids? Like, we're gonna do it now. We're not waiting anymore, we're doing it now. And how has that become an example for the kids?

SPEAKER_00 3:49

Yeah, no, so I started making a somedays list, and I had my kids make their some days list, and then we kind of started prioritizing things. Okay, so what's on this list is yes, I have to do it, or you know, I'm interested, but we'll see if we are interested later. Because I just wanted a place to be curious and explore and consider more at a different time. And so then we started ranking our some days, and then we realized that, you know, you're not gonna see Jen Drummond in a museum anytime soon. Because my thought is it's like, I can go in one of those in a wheelchair if I have to, um, and I'm still here, but I can't climb a mountain or maybe swim with whale sharks or do things like that. And so those took priority as well. And I kind of broke things into decades, and I said, okay, what do you want to do in your teens that you don't get to do anymore when you hit your 20s or your 30s? And I think all of us have museums in our 90s, so we'll

Turning Somedays Into A Family Plan

SPEAKER_00 4:45

see you then. Mona Lisa, don't count on us before. Um, but yeah, so and what's fun about that is when you have one, you know, whatever that is, like my son Joe wanted to surf the longest left wave in the world. I'm like, okay, cool. Well, then he researches it, right? So it's like off the coast of Peru, and it's all these little things. And so as he's researching it, he's getting more excited about it. He's like, here's what I need to do to prepare for this. And then I'm like, okay, well, now we're gonna go for your 18th birthday to go do this cool trip. So we went, and I think it's so awesome because it shows them dream it, date it, do it, and then document it, like with like what you learned, what you would do differently, what's interesting to you next. And like that formula works in everything we do.

SPEAKER_01 5:40

It's so powerful. And I I know you live by and in your speaking and in your coaching work and all of the amazing things that you do, and it's helping people really achieve what once felt impossible. And that's what I think is so unique about the list, which really becomes your reality, is that most things on that list is probably those things people say, oh, maybe one day I'll do it. But it's really, I probably won't. I mean, if we're really such an excuse that's not gonna believe it, right? It's like, oh, that this would be cool. Uh, but now you're encouraging your kids to do that, you're doing that. Becoming, and I'm I'm gonna let you share it, but becoming a Guinness book of world record holder for summoning mountains was probably on your at one point in time felt impossible. And then you some days turned it into possible. So I want you for that somebody who is saying no to something little, yeah, help us understand the significance of really thinking big and going for it. Because I think that's what you're an amazing example for all of us for.

SPEAKER_00 6:43

Yeah, you know, and let like let's let's talk about the evolution of this. So all of a sudden, my whole life's put on hold because I'm being the good girl. I have the accident. I'm like, okay, forget the good girl, I'll be the bad girl, and I'm gonna be selfish and use my time for me. Um, and then I started coming up with all these things that I wanted to do. And on that list was climb a mountain. Okay, I live in Park City, Utah. There's a Bazillion Mountains nearby. There's like a really cool one called Timpanogus. And so I'm like, oh, for my 40th birthday, I'm gonna go climb Mount Temp with my girlfriends and grab some cocktails afterwards. And one of my friends like overheard us talking about this. They're like, Jen Drummond, you're not climbing a mountain in Utah to launch your 40th like birthday. Like you were doing something way bigger than that. You should have died. Like, let's do something that's significant, like is significant. And so then he came up with this idea called Alma de Blom. And my son heard it as I'm a dumb blonde. And so he was like, if we do hard things in this family, why are you climbing a mountain called I'm a dumb blonde instead of a real one like Mount Everest? And I was like, oh wow. Yeah, it's Alma de Blom first, but yes, we'll look at Everest, finish your homework. And so I looked at Everest and he went to bed. I was like, Yeah,

From First Peak To Everest

SPEAKER_00 7:55

I'm gonna climb Everest because if that's what he perceives as the hardest thing in the whole world, I'm gonna show him what it looks like to achieve the hardest thing in the whole world. Now, mind you, I've never slept in a tent. I have like at this point, I like don't like bugs. I hate being cold. Like, it is like the farthest thing from something that I would sign up for naturally. But because it was the farthest thing from something I'd sign up for naturally, it made it even more enticing because I wanted him to see like, this isn't even your mom, and she's gonna make it happen. And so the cool thing about climbing mountains is like it's very visual, right? Like you have cool visuals, you have whatever. My kids are struggling with their math homework and they don't want to do it. And I'm like, I don't want to do my workout, and I totally understand what you're saying. So now all of a sudden we're living life in parallel a little bit because they're going through struggle, I'm going through struggle, and I have to make sacrifices. Like, I wasn't allowed to take an elevator while I was training to climb Everest. And so, no big deal in Park City. We have like three-story buildings at max. But when we went to Chicago for a weekend and we got upgraded to the 57th floor, my kids were like riding the elevator saying, catch you later, mom, because they knew I wasn't gonna cheat, right? So, like they have room service by the time I get to the room, but here we are. And I'm like, this is what it looks like. This is how it this is how it happens. And so it was so fun to do that. And my coach then elevated it to setting a world record and showing women globally, hey, we're allowed to be moms and still do ourselves. And so it became this even bigger mission. So if the person's listening today, the fun thing about a somedays list is that it opens doors and you're like, oh, I'm gonna climb a mountain. And then somehow something becomes funny, which is what I needed to go to the next level. And now I'm gonna climb Everest. And then my coach was like pitching this thing of, you know, there's this world record out there that hasn't been set yet, and it's seven mountains on seven continents, and you have seven children, which is a total jackpot, which for some reason was like a reason enough for me to say yes, which why? I have no idea looking back on it, but I'm like, yeah, I'm here for that. And I think that's just how it goes. And then you like you figure it out, you you make it happen.

SPEAKER_01 10:22

So not only was that an idea, because Jen's being humble here, I want to capture this. She went and did that, and now is a Guinness Booker World record holder. Before we get to that, though, and to really dive in, I want to take you back to something that you said. So I'm gonna throw out the next question I was gonna ask, and I want to supplement it with something you said. This is so important. You're in Chicago, you get upgraded to the 57th floor, kids say peace out, and you said mom, they knew mom wasn't gonna cheat. Jen, why is that so important? Because I'm a big believer in the same thing. Little eyes are always watching. If we cheat in front of our kids, for forget social media, forget all the BS that comes with that. I'm talking about when your kids are watching mom cheat, your kids are gonna think, oh, well, that's how you my mom cuts corners. Why was that so important for you? And why was that like the way you naturally said that was like gen drama doesn't cheat in anything? So, like, why why was that such a certain thing? Why is that important to

Discipline Rules Kids Can See

SPEAKER_01 11:25

you? That if you do it, you do it one way, and there's only one way to do it.

SPEAKER_00 11:29

Yeah, no, I mean, I just for me, if I give myself any off ramp, I'm taking it. Like that, that's just human nature, uh at least. And it's a it's a battle that I don't ever want to fight, so I can't ever give it any space in my life. And we like to set big goals and to do hard things, you have to set ridiculous rules, right? And then you set ridiculous rules to just be always going towards the North Star, always going towards the North Star. And when you win the little rules, like, you know, we're not allowed to put my my kids will tease with their friends. Well, we're not allowed to park next to the grocery store doors. My mom makes us park in the back. And so then you'd think I'd have a really nice fancy car, which I do not. But it's just like you, like, this is who I am. I'm the person that walks from the back of the grocery store to the front to get my cart and buy my groceries. And like you do these little teeny tiny things that nobody else does. So then all of a sudden, when they're faced with something that all their friends are going out on this night and they have a test the next day, hey, guess what? We're a family that doesn't do what other people do. And we don't do it in all these other examples, and so now you have that.

SPEAKER_01 12:39

Yeah, I I that that lesson right there for every not even not even just parents, specifically for parents, but for the business owner who has the team members who aren't responding the right way. They're watching you like everybody is watching how you show up. I always love to say in our leaders academy that that I teach a couple times a year, I always say you can only lead somebody to the level of discipline in which you live. And so for me, today was my 2,674th straight day working out. I haven't taken a day off in over what is that, seven and a half years.

SPEAKER_00 13:16

No, you can't because you take one off, that one like haunts you, and it's like it convinces the other days that they can have it off too.

SPEAKER_01 13:23

And it's it's become a way of life, and I think so much of it is it's all your perspective. It's like my mom didn't get a chance to work out past 38 years old. My mom didn't get a chance to watch Kennedy go to a school dance or my you know, my son go to a school dance. Like the things I get, like, I'm not gonna just take those things for granted. So I admire how clear you are on that because sometimes I think people lose sight of the lessons that our behavior and our discipline actually teaches. And I think there needs to be more messaging around this, and that's why I love that you carry out these messages, is because we live in a world where a lot of kids can't communicate, they can't communicate other than other than a text message. You have kids who don't challenge themselves, and the moment they see adversity, they run and they have no idea how to even respond to it. So, even those little things, we do things the hard way, even on the simple things. We park in the back and we walk. It's you're you're almost teaching them, don't look for the easy way, know that it's okay to do things that go a little extra bit, extra mile, because you'll end up doing more.

SPEAKER_00 14:27

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that like, yeah, and it's just it's a way of life. And you teach them in the smallest of moments, because those small moments become big moments at different times. And you have language, like you said. So at our household, we have a word because I climbed Everest. Like, what's your Everest? You only get one, right? You only get one Everest. And so when I ask, what's your Everest? That means that's the hardest, most difficult thing that you're facing right now. Because otherwise, to me, when you tell me it's like a friendship at school or it's a test that I have tomorrow, or it's like I can't get this one move on like the gym. My son just figured out how to do his muscle up and he was struggling with that for a long time. That allows me to know how significant that is for you. Because if you tell me like you can't get the muscle up at the gym and it's like in passing, I don't understand that that's a big deal. But if you tell me like that's my Everest right now, and I'm putting all my effort and energy into that, now I know how to handle that conversation and support you because we have the common understanding that this is your biggest focus at this moment. So let me help.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

I love it. You know, it it's that type of thinking that you're teaching, promoting, and empowering them to take ownership of that really leads people to, and I'd love for you to speak to why this is important when you go and speak and coach and

Why Significance Beats Success

SPEAKER_01 15:45

help others talking about not just driving success, but turning success into significance. Why is that important to you?

SPEAKER_00 15:53

Um, success is hollow. And any of us who have had just success, you're celebrating for about 10 minutes and you're looking for the next high. And then you're looking for the next high. And that's how you know you're not working on significance as well. When you have success and you realize, okay, this is something I can pass on, this is something that I can teach, this is something that can show the next person. Here's how to do it faster, quicker, easier. That's significance. And so that is so much more filling and satisfying, and it keeps you from chasing the next thing.

SPEAKER_01 16:29

Love it. All right, so let's talk about this. Is I I want to have some some fun with this one. I want to put you put you on the spot in a way that you could easily handle with the mountains that uh that you have have taken on. So someday is today, yeah, and you're an action taker, you have all of the history to now back it up. You've said it, you've done it, you've embraced since your car crash to be this example. But you and I both know we live in a world where there's way more individuals that are not like you, and they're individuals who tell you how great they want to be, but then when we have a conversation with their action, there's not significance, it's insignificant action. It's almost, I can't get myself to take that first step. What do you say to that person that you're coaching who you catch them in the middle of self-talk, you catch them in the middle of self-doubt, you catch them living in fear, and they're almost standing on this proverbial sideline with that someday list, right? It's like, Jen's done these seven mountains, but I can't get myself to just take the first step. What do you say to that individual? Because what some people don't realize, both of us being coaches that are helping people take those action steps, a lot of people don't realize that's real. Like that self-talk to that person is real. So that first step might be the first step to them climbing 10 mountains. What do you say to

No Zeros And The First Step

SPEAKER_01 17:55

that person that's on that sideline, whatever that self-talk, that self-doubt, so that they can believe the way you've now believed for all of us that that someday better be today or it may never happen.

SPEAKER_00 18:06

Yeah. Um, so we have a rule in our house called no zeros. And the no zeros rule means like if you're sick as a dog, um, you can still do one push-up. Right? You're not maybe, maybe not you're doing your full workout, maybe you're not, you know, whatever. But one push-up counts as a workout if you're like dying and you know if you're dying or not in sick. And so for me, when somebody has a goal and they're on the sideline, what's the teeniest, tiniest, smallest little teeny thing you can do that makes sure that you don't have a zero towards that goal?

SPEAKER_01 18:39

I love it.

SPEAKER_00 18:40

And so, like, if you just are like, I just can't have a zero, right? So if you're gonna climb Everest and you don't feel good, run up the stairs before you leave the house and run back down, and at least you got steps in. Because then when you're in these spots and you're like, but I'm not a person that does that, but you're like, actually, I am, because I have evidence, and here's the things I did for the last week. And that momentum actually starts to give you what you need to make it bigger and better.

SPEAKER_01 19:04

I absolutely love that. No zeros. I uh I have to share this because it literally just happened this morning, and it's something that uh I I know uh my my wife is so strong and so tough. You it you and Amy would get along, uh, you and Amy would get along great, similar mindsets, and you push and challenge. There's no weakness, we don't quit. And my daughter is 16 years old, and she actually already committed to go play Division I college basketball. Amazing and this morning's thank you. That this morning she woke up and we go and and she gets shots up in the morning. I do my my workout in the morning, and then she does a bunch of her whole routine. And by the time I'm done with my workout, I'll jump in and do some rebounding for her at the end. And we woke up and she comes downstairs and she goes, Dad, my my back really hurts. And she says, But I'm gonna adjust what I do today. I'm gonna do my form shooting, I'm gonna do my free throws, I'm gonna, I'm gonna just adjust what I do my ball handling. There was there wasn't a we're not going to the gym. And I easily, I'm the dad with even though I'm a mental toughness coach and I do this, I would never be like, no, no, no, we're going to the gym. But she has taken that ownership. And I just I say this humbly on behalf of Jen and I, because I think sometimes people hear that. It's like, what do you mean, zero mental? You your kid's sick, you're gonna make them do a push-up. It's like, no, I think we realize is in a weak world where there's kids with weak mindsets, we're actually teaching our kids to be strong. I would never push my kid to do anything beyond what they want to do. She still wanted to go to the gym. And we went to the gym, and I think she shot like 90% on her free throws. And we got in the car and she's like, Well, I wish I would have been able to do more. I said, But honey, you still wanted to come here and look at all that you did. And I think that's the example I hope everybody who's listening can hear. It's just interesting because I felt like you're saying the no zeros. It's like, I think you were in our house this morning and you had to talk with Kennedy before we went to the gym. It's like people don't realize they are watching you. They watched mom have a car crash, they watch mom change how she shows up, they watch mom not only do one mountain, but seven and become a Guinness book world record holder. So I just I I admire your strength and your example because I think parents these days, and you can come here if you want with me and and share something, but I think parents, it starts in our homes. And if we allow our kids to be weak minded, society's gonna, society's gonna take over and they're not gonna, they're not gonna be able to thrive in society because that adversity is nothing compared to what's out there.

unknown 21:38

Right.

SPEAKER_01 21:39

No, I think. What are your thoughts on that? Exactly. Yeah, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 21:42

100%. Like here's the thing our world either gets bigger because we push against it or it gets smaller because it pushes against us. And we have plenty of examples of this, like after COVID and people having a hard time socializing and all this kind of stuff, because we're out of practice. I

Perspective Stories That Build Resilience

SPEAKER_00 21:55

was just um out of town with the kids recently, and we had a lady freaking out in the airport. About flying. I'm like, can you imagine? We're in an air-conditioned building that has food available and all these different things, and she's freaking out. I go, this is what happens when your world gets so small, little things become big. And so as you keep pushing against things, everything that's big starts becoming smaller and smaller and smaller. So your big is like somebody's ginormous, right? And so it's like you guys, you pick your battle. Um, and so I'm always trying to also point out, like, when they notice something, they bring it to my attention. It's like, okay, what's their mindset? What do you think? What do you think happened? What do you what do you think that story is? And you know, there, I'm sure there is a story that it makes sense for that lady, but there's a lot of stories that you can navigate yourself because you wrote them. And whatever story we keep on speed dial is a story that comes up when a situation triggers us. And that speed dial story better be a story of overcoming.

SPEAKER_01 23:00

And that's, you know, that's really the source of the burn. It's like for me, it's the perspective. If if I'm and we all go through it, right? We have those tough days. The self-talk starts, and then it's like, wait a second, my mom was a divorced mom, single, fighting to make ends meet, divorced from my dad at six months old, 24-hour nursing care in the house. And my mom came to the dinner table to ask me how my day was at school. I'm good. I can pick up the phone and make the next call. They're not interested in bringing me in to speak, I'm the wrong fit. That's okay. I'll call somebody else. And I think it's perspective. I think that's what I'm hearing you say is that people need to recognize the perspective, shift in perspective, and just choose action. Because if you don't choose action, you're never gonna get anywhere, and you will never eliminate anything off that some days list.

SPEAKER_00 23:43

Exactly. I love it.

SPEAKER_01 23:46

Well, this has been uh incredible having the opportunity to have uh have you on the show. I'm gonna recommend to everybody you have got to go follow the Jen Drummond on Instagram. That word somedays, she's building a lot of momentum around that word. So I encourage you to follow, be part of the story, become part of an action taker who wants to do those some days. You're not waiting for someday to happen. And we will also, in the show notes, give all kinds of ways that you guys can stay connected with Jen. We'll make it as easy as possible. But Jen, are there any final thoughts that you have uh for our audience or anything you'd like for them to know to stay connected with you?

SPEAKER_00 24:26

Yeah, no, uh Instagram's fantastic. The Jen Drummond. Also know with some days, we have a somedays grant program. So if there's

Somedays Grant And Final Takeaways

SPEAKER_00 24:35

a someday that is on your list that you're looking to do and you feel like financial resources or something are what's stopping you, share that storyteller like story with us. Um, we grant out $3,500 every quarter for storyteller awards, and we'll help you make that someday come to life.

SPEAKER_01 24:56

That is absolutely awesome. And uh not not surprised to hear that that's one of the initiatives uh that you take. Jen, thank you so much for showing up and being an example, not just for those seven kids in the house, but for all of us. When that challenge and adversity strikes, you can literally turn it into the perspective to go make sure that you can achieve anything, anything in life. And what was once impossible, you can go make it possible. You're a great example of that for us. Thank you so much for coming on the burn.

SPEAKER_00 25:26

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 25:28

To each and every single one of you listening, now you can see this is why I love the burn. It's these amazing stories of incredible individuals like Jen. And that's why every single week we're gonna continue to bring you stories of individuals who show us and prove to us that that burn ignites why and purpose and causes you to show up on the days you don't feel like it, and especially after you win. This has been The Burn, and we'll look forward to seeing you next week.