Leaving Comfort For Bigger Purpose

unknown 0:00

I'm a death boy and a dumbass. I'm a death boy.

SPEAKER_04 0:13

When I think about you now running PAC, the pro athlete community, you making the tough transition, I mean having to connect to your burn more than ever to walk away from a vice president. Because yes, you were in a closet when we met. But when you left the Dolphins organization, you were a vice president of the Dolphins organization. You were a vice president role within your role of player development. That is a huge opportunity. Many people would call it a safety net, a life of comfort that you left for a bigger purpose that goes all the way back to your burn. And I want you to share with everybody your burn because I think it's so significant your story and how much the burn means to you.

SPEAKER_00 0:59

I appreciate that, Ben. And I love being on this with Ben because what do you do? You elevate positions. I never got to VP, right? But you know, to be connected with the owner and work on some tremendous initiatives that helps the players, man. What an amazing

Mad Dog Legacy And High Standards

SPEAKER_00 1:14

feat! As you can look behind me and see all these pictures, uh, some on Shark Tank. But just to your point, walking away and connecting to the burn more than ever dates back to my father, you know, and and you think about I was blessed to have a father for 21 years of my life, that quite frankly was was, you know, he earned the name Mad Dog, right? Charles Mad Dog Thornhill. And so when you grow up in a house like that, you know what time it was. The standard, as you always say, Ben, was extremely high. And it was really cool growing up because walking through the grocery store, even though it took three hours, right? You get later on in life, you're like, dang, why did it take three hours? Why does he keep talking to people? People were stopping him because of the impact he had made in their lives. Right? So, Ben, think about this. We're in there shopping at Meyer up north, as everybody knows, which I still miss that place, and you're talking about a place that people said, Man, you remember serving in the juvenile detention center? I'll never forget what you said to me. And because your impact on me, my life has been going well, they tell about their family, they tell about their kids, and something my father had done for them during a small portion of his life. Whether he went to go work in Sergeant of Arms at the at the Capitol in Lansing, Michigan, the same stories about, man, your father always lights up the room. Man, like it was amazing to hear all these stories growing up, Ben. And then, you know, unfortunately, as you fast forward, and I go to Michigan State University and follow under my father's legacy, who he played at, you know, 65, 66 national champions at Michigan State University to walk into Michigan State University after my brother, who uh dominated, was an academic all-American, and really a uh, you know, in terms of talent, let's just call it what it is, my dad, my brother, and then me, right? Um continue on that in a little bit. But I had to set it up in a way, Ben, where you kind of understand the history and the standard that was set of the like dominating the day, but also overflowing into other people, right? So like hearing that every single day and then going to Michigan State, I'm going in my senior year, I wear the number 43 because my dad wanted us to have our own identity, right? My brother was 50. He didn't want to fall, hey, don't wear my number. Carve your own path, right? This is your time. My dad always stepped away from that limelight. This is your guys' time. Enjoy it.

Grief Turns Into A Burn

SPEAKER_00 3:37

But before my senior year, you know, unfortunately, on December 21st of 2006, I uh experienced one of the hardest moments of my life and still to this day hard to even talk about, of watching my father pass away suddenly in front of these own two eyes, right? And like seeing that God-type figure lose life and and and to never come back into physical form was one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with as a human being. And so when when that when that happened to me, you know, a lot of grieving happened, obviously, with the impact he had in my life. But if you fast forward just a little bit, and I got a call from Coach DeAntonio, who was the head coach at that time, had just become the head coach and says, Hey, Caleb, I want to know before we start selling these uh jerseys in the books bookstore, do you want to switch from number 43 to number 41, in which your father wore to honor him, honor him this last season of your career at Michigan State University? And in that moment right there, like a switch. Now keep in mind, I was debating whether to even play football. I just coming out of my fifth surgery. So, do I play football? My boss, my my physical body is taking a beating, my mental ability, my spiritual has been taking a beating and losing something. And so I was like, man, and so that moment in particular, Ben, when you think about Coach DeAntonio saying that to me, and as you talked about slipping from number 43 and putting on that 41 to honor him one last time, to go out there and give it everything I got to live for him on that field, and there was no better feeling to do that and to represent for him one last time. And the second thing is to walk on that field, and I don't know if I've shared this with you in the first game, first home game, to walk on that field with my brother as the honorary captain, laying in arms, walking to midfield, me, my brother, and my dad from above, and him obviously in my jersey and wearing his number. That moment right there, Ben, I don't know if I don't know where I would be, quite frankly, if I didn't make that decision, if I didn't get that call right to be able to do that. To live for a burn that's greater than me, to carry on a legacy, as you talk about pick up that pen and write those chapters that he didn't get a chance to write. Like, I don't know where I would be without that switch inside of me till this day. Like, that that is the burn for me that continues to light a path of impact that continues no matter what the circumstances are.

Overflow Into Others Through Nonprofit

SPEAKER_04 6:29

But man, you went to the NFL and you've impacted so many players, and then you've utilized that platform to go back and give to kids. Tell us how much it's meant to you to carry on that part of your dad's legacy to serve your communities and to give all of yourself to a purpose bigger than you.

SPEAKER_00 6:46

Ben, I'm gonna be honest. To put into words is very tough, but I will tell you this right now. Like, when I think about things that I want my kids to have and that were passed on to me through my father and my mother and my brother, and the things I experienced growing up, Ben, I I don't know, I just feel it's very selfish. Like the community that raised me, the family that raised me, to your point, there's so many kids out there that don't have the same opportunities, right? Exposure breeds expansion. I'm just a true believer of that. I'm also big on my mission, right? To engage, educate, and empower individuals to reach their full potential. And when we're talking about football, we're talking about on and off the field. So to be able to pick that up, but my father, my father did that. My father engaged, he educated, and he empowered, right? And I wrote that after he passed away, but now that I reflect back, man, that's what he did. That's why we were at Meyer for four hours, three hours, however long it took to get to the conversations. But like, that's what he did. And I think, you know, for me, Ben, to be able to be in a position to be able to overflow into other people, right? Because you really can't overflow. People don't understand this, it's not selfish. You can't overflow until you fill yourself up first, right? So we have to do the daily disciplines that allow us to show up as our best version every day to be able to keep that water going to overflow into other empty cups, right? And so, like for me, it's been huge for me to be able to understand, Caleb, you gotta take care of yourself mentally and spiritually, physically, your family, obviously, make a living for yourself to even have the ability to show up and overflow into other people. So, to be able to start a nonprofit that we started back in 2011, Ben, think about this. It was the first time I was working for the Dolphins, right? Like I just got hired in my first year, I should say. And I'm I make a decision. You can't tell me God didn't do this. There was a lockout in 2001. So, with that lackout, no players were allowed to come in the facility from literally from I don't remember if it was from January until training camp started, which was like a switch that went on. It was like uh July 28th or something, where they allowed players for the first time to go back into an NFL facility. Now, what was everybody else doing? Everybody's like, what do we do? Like, I'll never forget it. People coming in my office, like, don't know what to do with the day. Think about this for a second. That was the time that we developed the nonprofit during that time period that were given during COVID. And I'm so thankful that we started it there, was able to get and do the camp at Michigan State that you went to, that you were burning. Speaking of the burn, you were burning in that uh dorm room, obviously. Um but to be able to do that and and and go back and show kids what college is like, right? Take them through personal and professional development. You want to know what, you want to make it to the next level? We're getting up at 6 a.m. and we're not going to bed till 10 p.m., right? Like, we're gonna show you what it's like to be a true student athlete or a true whatever it is that you want to do next in life. And we only do an hour and a half of football. The rest is all test prep, personal and professional development, having some fun with the kids, letting them swim, right? But taking them to Detroit, exposing them to different things, like that Ben to me, being able to do that in 2011 and still continue it today means everything to me. Like, when you get to the end of the road and we see that dash, that Ben Newman dash on that on that tombstone, it's gonna speak to what we did on earth. The people who are speaking at that funeral are gonna be talking about that dash and what it meant to them. That person, that name, they're gonna speak about the impact you had on their life because you're no longer physically there. And for me, it's all about leaving a legacy where people continue to take what we've taught them and be disciples of the word and do that to the next generation. Because life is but a vapor. And that's all that dad is.

Sponsor: Q Logics

SPEAKER_04 10:58

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Build Trust Then Find Burn

SPEAKER_04 12:20

How do you work with an individual to break through or to connect to that burn, that passion, to find out what they're really able to do? Because when I think of what the Rams have done, the limited injuries. You've pushed people to get uncomfortable to get their bodies right. So tell us about that.

SPEAKER_03 12:37

That's a great question. First of all, I love you, brother. Appreciate this. This is awesome. Love these, and I'm just humbled to be a part of it. But first thing we do is try to create those relationships because where does everything start? Trust. How do you gain trust? You've got to be vulnerable. I think the first thing we try to do is create vulnerability. So when I'm dealing with a player, if I'm meeting a guy for the first time, he shouldn't trust me. I don't want him to trust me. If you trust me right off the bat, I'm gonna say, don't trust people like that. Get to know them first, that can get you into trouble. So now I gotta work my butt off. I gotta be passionate, I gotta show my energy, my enthusiasm, but most of all my care for that individual to get them to reciprocate that. So how do I do that? I gotta be vulnerable. I gotta admit when I make mistakes, I gotta be willing to go through the process and show them that I'm grinding on a daily basis to get better. That's my process. So now through that, I show the passion, I show the care that I have for that person. They reciprocate that along the line after we build that relationship. Then I can also get to know them through that process. As I get to know them, I get to know their purpose, I get to know their burn. One of those trigger words, what's the key thing that I need to hit when it does get uncomfortable, whether it's in the middle of a game and I can say something to them, or if it's in the middle of a workout, we're killing them in the middle of the offseason, and I say, hey man, what's your burn? Remember, you're doing this for your grandmother, you're doing this for your spouse, your children, whatever that goal is, your grandfather, your coach in high school, I get that burn, and then I can utilize that, and we can harness the power of it. Like you talk about, you do such an eloquent job of it, I can't do that, but you you describe what that burn means to us. I see it in action. So I get to see it day to day when those guys are grinding and they're working, and I can bring it back and draw upon it to harness its power because it is a powerful thing, as you know. So when we can use that power for good, I can challenge those guys to break through those uncomfortable moments physically, mentally, and take their game to the next level. So here's right.

SPEAKER_04 14:27

So you tie that, you get somebody to that point. And we're talking about professional athletes at the highest possible level. And I know some people watching, they're they're not a professional athlete. And sometimes they say, well, how does this apply to me? So what I would love for you to tie back to everybody listening is for that individual who is lacking the patience right now to maybe identify the process now. And actually, let's put a twist on it. For you to get to the level that you've gotten to, that's not an overnight thing, right? Sean McBay doesn't call and say, You're gonna be the head strength and conditioning coach, you don't all of a sudden have these numbers where guys aren't getting injured, and people are going, what are you doing with the randoms? I mean, it's an evolution of you taking jobs that were not the long-term job for you. So for those individuals who maybe aren't where they want to be, you know, you going back to, gosh, this starting job, like looking at Robin and going, hey, babe, like just believe me, trust me, this is going to work out. What do you tell those individuals who resist? And they say, you know what, why is this taking so long? Or am I really in this space that I'm supposed to be in

Inputs Over Outcomes For Breakthroughs

SPEAKER_04 15:30

right now?

SPEAKER_03 15:30

I would challenge them first, I'd say, what are you focused on? Because it sounds like me that that person would be focused on the outcome. And we always talk about this inputs versus outputs. The input is the previous 15 years of my life that I spent developing my career path to what it is today, to being the director of strength and performance for the Los Angeles Rams. That didn't happen when I took my first job out of college at a high school and really making no money, and then becoming a graduate assistant, getting a full-time job, leaving a full-time job to take a part-time job to get in the NFL, working for six months in the NFL without a paycheck because I maxed out my hours as a part-time employee, just volunteering, then making ends meet by starting another high school program. Those are the processes that led me to where I am. So if I was only worried that time, at that time, about I just want to be in the NFL and the head strength coach, I would have lost focus on my process. The process is what gets you to that place. So you've got to shut your mind off about the outcome down the line. You've got to find your burn and find your purpose, which is not long term. Your purpose isn't, well, my purpose is to be something 20 years from now. Your purpose is to be what you are today at the very best level that you possibly can, and then match that and take that up another match tomorrow. That's eventually going to lead through daily improvement and daily excellence to you being that best version of yourself 20 years from now in that role that you foresaw. You have goals, great, but you have to trust the process, and then you have to embrace the process on a daily basis.

Serving Veterans Face To Face

SPEAKER_04 16:52

And this t-shirt right here makes me think of what was just released here in the last couple of weeks, which is the commitment you and Sean have made. As busy as you guys are, it's easy to say, let me just write a check and allow the check to help you understand that's important to me. But you and Sean have made it an important part of this organization to say, we're going to do things that are going to give back to the military. So, how important is it for you to not just say or to write a check I'm going to give back, but to actually take action and do it?

SPEAKER_03 17:18

Critically important because once again, you know, the impact that you can have face to face matches no other level of money that you can lay there. It's above and beyond whatever you can donate financially, even if you're given millions of dollars. We were fortunate because through Jake Blazer, we brought in this organization called MVP Merging Bets with Players, and we had this workout, and it was a ball buster of a workout. We crushed these guys. These are former, these are heroes. These are military servicemen and women who served our country overseas and in bad battles and went through some horrific things that we can't even fathom because we're over here just enjoying this beautiful country that they worked so hard to defend. And then we have these athletes that come in and at some point their career is going to end too. So we're trying to merge those two things. So we took them through this physically demanding workout and we crushed everyone. At the very end, we sat down and talked. Hearing the stories of those heroes and the athletes and how their minds work and how it's all interwoven changed my perspective on everything because when you look at the impact you can have just by talking to someone and understanding their story, once again, presenting that care and that empathetic uh mentality and trying to understand them so that you can positively impact them and other people. When I saw those interactions take place between the veterans, the players, us as a staff, it blew my mind because of the level of impact that we can have. I couldn't do that if I just wrote a check or if Sean just wrote a check and said, yeah, there's a worthy charity. Is that important? Absolutely, but I couldn't have that impact and it wouldn't help me make a greater impact in the next situation that I'm in where I have an ability to talk to somebody like that.

SPEAKER_04 18:52

So I love talking about intentional focus. You and I have had so many great conversations around intentional focus. So whether it's philanthropy work, whether it's locking in and accepting where you are and pushing to the next level, whether it's connecting to the bird, here's one of the things people struggle with, and I'd love to finish with this question. People

Morning Routine That Builds Grit

SPEAKER_04 19:10

always struggle with man, I wake up in the morning and I just I can't mentally get myself to do it again. Because many people don't realize high levels of success takes grit, right? My definition of grit, monotonous behavior, over and over and over again. And for you, you have to show up with energy, enthusiasm, a great attitude, belief, and you deal with so much here. So, what is it that you do, or what would you recommend? What's something that works for the morning when you wake up? Because I know you're like me. You don't wake up every morning and you want to do it, but we find ways to do it. So, how do you set yourself to attack what's in front of you every morning?

SPEAKER_03 19:48

I think the first and foremost thing when the alarm goes off, it's how fast can I shut that thing off and how fast can my feet hit the floor? How fast my feet hit the floor is the most important thing to me. It's how fast do I get down on my knees after that. I pray, thank God for everything that I have in my life, and I ask him to continue to protect my family and everything else moving forward. And then that's something you've given me. It's my legacy statement. This is something that has helped me tremendously. I get my mind in the right position where I'm humble first, I start on the ground, I start on my knees, and realize it's not about me. There's a bigger purpose, my family, this team, the people I get to impact, all those lifestyle things where I live through, but trying to bring the best to everyone of myself. That legacy statement that you helped me develop, when I read that, at that point in the morning, it resets my focus as to this is me, but this is where I'm going. This is how I'm going to get there. Starting today, starting right now, at 3.30 in the morning. Now 3.31, I'm already being productive out of the next thing. Now it's 3.32, let's go. How can I be even better? How can I get to that point? It's that legacy statement. It's the I am statements that really focus me and get me centered knowing.

SPEAKER_04 20:53

Well, I I I want to go back to just your passion and sacrifice you made to play the game of football. You know, to go and and to do the things that you did as a player. Where did your work ethic come from? I mean, I I I I've watched you, I could go in and on just in how I've observed you and me knowing like this guy's gonna run programs and do big things. Where did that fire and passion to be a great player, to be a hard worker, and to be a leader? Where did that come from for you?

SPEAKER_01 21:22

Yeah, I think first and foremost, you start with my parents. Um, you know, since I was a little kid. I mean, I started playing football when I was four years old. So um from then on, I think I just learned that you know, my dad always told me, uh you can do anything if you're if you're willing to work for it. So I think just very early on, seeing the way my parents worked to give me a life that I was able to have um and do the things I was able to do, and then also just you know the fortunate opportunities I had to be but surrounded by such great people. I mean, I get to, you know, I got to work with you and see, you know, your your willingness to serve other people and help help our football team really with no no strings attached. No other value except just to try to help help a bunch of young men on our team. And then, you know, obviously Coach Cochrane getting to work for him, getting to be a part of Coach Saban's teams, um, and even Coach Blue my last year over at Alabama. I think just getting to be surrounded by such great people, uh, I think success leaves clues, and you get to uh look at people around you and see the successes they had and and what got them there. And I think there was a common denominator that everybody that I was around worked their asses off to get where they to get where they were. And I thought, you know, that's one thing that I could control. And so just getting to be surrounded by such great people, I think gave me great examples of uh what I could accomplish if I was willing to do the same thing.

SPEAKER_04 22:38

All right. I hope everybody heard something because I'm gonna come back to it. It was a perfect foreshadow for the special question. He still doesn't know I'm gonna ask him. T.O. just said that success leaves

Alabama Standards And Lifelong Learning

SPEAKER_04 22:49

clues. I want you guys to remember that. Success leaves clues. Going and playing at the University of Alabama, what was that like being a player for Coach Saban before we talk about going back and coaching?

SPEAKER_01 23:02

Uh yeah, I mean, I think it was high expectations and high demand. Uh and you know, I think it was one of the more awesome times of my life. You know, I didn't really know uh what was gonna happen with college football. I kind of was a late bloomer in terms of success on the football field. I was playing a lot of sports growing up. Uh finally kind of focused in on football my last year of high school, and really all my opportunities came late. And by happen chance, ended up in Alabama. And I walk in the door and you look around and you see Dante Hightower, you see CJ Mosley, you see first round NFL linebackers, and and you're like, wow, I got a long way to go if I ever want to if I ever want to be close to you know doing anything here. So I think you know, initial initial when I walk in the door was a little bit of an awe, a shock and awe moment. And then once you get settled in, you recognize you know what it takes and the expectations of of Coach Saban and the program, and you really try to live up to those daily. And with I think what you what you learn each year um and being a part of that program is stuff that certainly has carried me the rest of my life and through my coaching experiences, just through all the things. So I think it was an awesome experience. And really, you know, I I could go back to high school, middle school, and and growing up as a kid. Um, I tell people this all the time is like honestly, my dad I felt like was as hard on me as Coach Saban. And so I think for me, like it may have been, it may have been a shock to some people um or a huge learning curve for some people. But honestly, the way my dad challenged me and pushed me was very similar to how Coach Saban pushes and challenge, uh, challenge all of us being a part of his team. So it was uh it was a cool and great experience and obviously forced it to be around uh some really good teams and players.

SPEAKER_04 24:44

I have to bring this up because many people have heard me say it, but I want to hear your perspective on it. I'll I'll never forget walking into the Malmore football complex for the first time ever. And uh 2017, you know, I'm interviewing with Coach Cochran that day and Ginger Gilmore, and you just walk into the building, and it was almost like you could feel the expectation. I've said that so many times, and I want to hear it from uh from your perspective. Like literally, I felt like I walked in, I was accepted, blessed with you know the opportunity that Coach Cochrane and Ginger and Coach Saban offered me. But the expectation, I mean, you literally feel it in the building. Where do you where do you think that comes from? How do you think they were able to establish that?

SPEAKER_01 25:31

Yeah, I think Coach Cochran talked about him in his episode last time when he talked about there was just alignment from Coach Saban all the way down to him and all the way through Ginger and the training room and Jeff Allen and the entire building. I think there was no stone unturned. I mean, everywhere you went, the expectation, uh, the attention to detail and the focus and the standard of what what we wanted to get done there was was aligned across the entire building. So I think just having that, there was no, there was nowhere to like hide, nowhere you could go that that expectation wasn't there, that that standard wasn't there. So I think I think because of that, you feel that you feel that when you walk in the building because you just it was a it was an environment that was created through the alignment of the program and just everybody in there had one belief, and it was to try to make everybody a champion. And they believed if we could make everybody a champion that we could win a championship. And I think because of that, no matter who walked in the building, uh you you felt that environment, you felt that because of the environment Cochran Cochran created in the weight room, the environment Jeff Allen created in the training room, and then the invalid the environment Coach Saban created in the overall program. So I think just top to bottom, the alignment that that was in the program was was was what the environment you felt when you walked in the door.

SPEAKER_04 26:40

Wow. Let me take people back to uh some observations now because I just think it's incredible hearing you talk about being a player, hearing you choose to go back and to be a coach and having the highest level of success. I mean, becoming a national champion at both as a player and as a coach. I want to go back and uh paint this accurately because you gave the the perfect foreshadow. Success leaves clues. How many times? And I'm speaking to the listeners now, how many times do you see somebody's success story? You see people do things, and you read a book and you just take it in. Wow, what a story. Or you watch a movie and say, Wow, what a great movie! What an inspirational story. I knew that Tyler Owens was gonna have the success that he's having as a head strength and conditioning coach the moment that he pulled me aside and said, Hey man, you ever think you and I can just chat about stuff? And I went to his office for the first time and I'll never forget. He reaches and he pulls down this binder. You maybe thought I forgot. And he pulls down this binder, and I'm like, hey, bro, what's that? And you're like, Oh, this is this is my binder where everything I learn, I put inside this binder. So when I'm a head strength and conditioning coach, I'm gonna have everything in this binder. Man, it's giving me goosebumps, TO, because I remember sitting in your office that first time at Alabama. You probably thought I forgot. And uh I was like, dude, this guy is special. This dude is beyond his years, and this guy at a young age, which you've now done, is gonna make his own freaking mark beyond these national championships that he's won at Alabama. So there you go. There's your magic question. You had no idea I was gonna ask. What caused you to do that? Because that was one of the most intentional acts for you to show up that way. Not reading a book, great book, great movie. You literally said, I am a lifelong learner and I'm not gonna let anything go by me. What caused you to do that?

SPEAKER_01 28:42

Yeah, I mean, honestly I remember that. Yeah, no, that's crazy. Actually, I should pull it, it's right over here over my shoulder in my office. So I should pull it back out. No, uh um, funny enough, you know, really the biggest thing is I realized long ago I'm not that smart. Um, so if I'm not that smart, I better have a good way to figure things out along the way to try to get it right. So honestly, I just figured out, hey, if I'm not very smart, how can I how can I get this right along the way? And so I was just like, you know, the best way I think is is just try to learn from other people. Um, you know, and I I I figured out real early on, I don't have all the answers. Um, and I'm not gonna know everything, but the best thing I can do is try to try to watch the people around me and figure out what they've done to be successful. And you know, I was and you know, obviously you see the great successes of Cochrane and the Alabama program and all the other coaches that I was fortunate to be around. And I was like, you know, these guys have done had unbelievable success. So, you know, there's obviously something they're doing right. So if I can take just a little bit of what of what they've done and apply it to whatever whenever I get the opportunity, uh, you know, I think I could have some good, some, some great successes as well. So honestly, it was just me trying to figure out figure out the the way. Um, when I was a young, young strength coach and really didn't know much and really just trying to use every opportunity I could to to learn and take advantage of being surrounded by great people and in great environment and uh great coaches and and take everything I could to learn from them because I knew that I didn't have all the answers. So just uh, you know, something I still try to do to this day, that's for sure. But it's crazy you remember that because uh I think back to that those times, uh matter of fact, probably uh in those same moments, I was uh probably a month or two ago listening to some videos that uh or some voice recordings that you had sent me around the same time of just uh different encouragements and and different things that we had talked through and discussed of how to prepare the guys and different meetings you had had with some of the guys on the team and some of those same conversations we had had in the office. So uh funny you brought that up because not just recently I was listening back to some of those voice recordings that we had in that office during that time period. So pretty cool to think back on.

unknown 30:51

Don't worry, don't worry, don't worry about it.