Speaker 1: 0:25

no-transcript and causes you to show up on the days that you don't feel like it, and especially after you win from time to time. Because our friends continue to grow, they continue to shake up industry, they continue to make a difference. They continue to grow because they connect to their burn. Do you guys understand where I'm going? Here we bring them back onto the burn and today I couldn't be any more excited to welcome back to the burn my dear friend Hillary Seiler. And for those of you who don't remember the story from our first time together on the burn, go back and watch the episode. But I'll give you just a couple of snippets here. We met in our work with the Miami Dolphins through our dear, dear friend, caleb Thornhill. If we don't give Caleb a shout out, who knows what he might try to do to us? So shout out to the great.

Speaker 1: 1:19

Caleb Thornhill is now with the San Antonio Spurs and I've been able to watch Hillary just flourish into becoming one of the most sought after experts when it comes to being a great steward of your money. She's now recognized as one of the top financial coaches in the world. That's why we've had her on the Mental Toughness Forum. It's why we've had her on the burn to talk about her burn and her family, and words from her father that motivated her and things that have caused her to show up, whether it be as a titan in the mortgage industry, which gave has built an incredible business. Many people know all about financial footwork from following online from the first episode of the burn and now, after all of this growth in the NFL. Now there's financial literacy, which really started with LSU, which was really cool If you guys watch so much of the work that was done for LSU on the Netflix series, and so she was right in the throes of all of it. Now, throughout the NCAA, now in the NBA, I think there's more than one Hilary Seiler in the world. I don't know how she does all this by herself, and now she's getting ready to become a published author, so we're doing this special for her.

Speaker 1: 2:43

Train your Money Hillary Seiler's brand new book drops September the 23rd. Make sure to grab a copy, because what we're going to talk about today is more of the mental toughness, the fears around money. We're going to go to a couple of places that people mostly don't want to go to, because it's like going to Vegas. Right, you want to tell everybody that you made all the money, but you don't want to tell people that you lost 82 times before you had that one night that you won. So we're going to talk about the fears. We're going to talk about the tough stuff. My dear friend, sorry for the long bio, but you deserve it.

Speaker 1: 3:16

Hillary Seiler, welcome back to the burn.

Speaker 2: 3:18

Oh my goodness, can you do my hype reel please, because that was fantastic.

Speaker 1: 3:26

I'm over here just like red. That was wonderful. Hey, this is that, that is. I hope people felt that is relationship, because it is just. It has been a joy to you know running into each other at the Super Bowls when you know it's. You know we're both there with players. You know, a couple years ago with the Eagles and starting with the Dolphins. You know, one of the things I've always enjoyed is in our conversations we're both constantly pursuing growth. So, before we talk about the book, why is it that you because we got to talk a little bit about the burn why have you continued to pursue growth and impact when you really had enough business, you had enough clients, you didn't have to go do the NBA? What causes you to keep fighting the way that you do every day?

Speaker 2: 4:10

Oh, it's connecting to my burn and we've talked about it, and in life, your burn does shift a little bit. Mine has been very constant. It can shift my mom. Similar to you, I lost my mom when I was young and, for those people who've never heard us talk before, ben and I have a very similar story or path of our, of our, our journey and our story. Ben, you lost your mom far younger than I lost mine, but it was a pivotal moment in my life. It was one of my defining moments and in those moments, the person that I was able to work through all of that with was my dad, and he's the person that I love dearest in the world. He's my favorite person and my best friend and at 38 years old, I still call him daddy when I need something. Daddy, I need help. But again, our relationship is actually that of a true friendship, which I'm very blessed to have.

Speaker 2: 5:00

And that has become and has been my burn for probably the last 13 years since my mom passed is working to always better myself for my father and being able to retire him. He just retired this year and this has been a goal for my brother and I for 13 years, so he's the reason I do what I do, because he's that person that I always want him to look at me and say you're doing the right things and you're doing them the right way. I never want my father to look at me and say, why are you settling, why aren't you pushing? And my dad's always been that person that says you did great, celebrate the win, but what's next? He's never let me sit on my laurels and just kind of coast. That's not. It's not how my dad operates. So he is the reason I do what I do. But he's also the motivating factor behind me constantly pushing, and I think if I sat still for too long I might get a little bored now because he's instilled that in me for years. But that is my, that's my why, that's why I do what I do and that translates from the experiences I had when my mom passed.

Speaker 2: 6:05

So when she passed away, finances were hard. I was 19, did not understand money, hated to see the five and six figure medical bills that came through month after month after month for seven years and I never wanted another person to feel as horrible as our family did, financially and emotionally, in that seven year period. So I started teaching finance and I am lucky enough to be one of the top 50 finance speakers in the world right now, which is when I heard that and I got the notification. I was like I'm a what? When did that happen? That's really cool, but it means that we're doing the right work and that's why we do it. We get to impact lives every day and I get to help people every day, and a lot of the time I don't see it, but I know it's happening.

Speaker 1: 6:48

Yeah, I, you know, one of the things I love about your story is obviously the connection. But I always bring up your dad to get us connected there, because if there's the text messages that I think about, I think it's so powerful that you say you know, I still text my dad before I take off and I text him when I land, that I'm safe. And I think sometimes we don't slow down enough to do the little things in life with the people that we love the most, and so I admire that deep connection that you have with your father as a result of you now being there because of the loss of your mom. Obviously, I relate so much, but I've seen that carry through and how you do the little things in your business. And one of the things I want to highlight, which we didn't plan on talking a lot about this, but I want to make sure that people understand.

Speaker 1: 7:32

You know, similar to me, people see this backdrop or they see your backdrop and they think it's all sports, because that's what people are attracted to. Yet we've had some conversations in the past where I'm like, okay, hillary, like we got to blow this business up for you, like I want to see you blow this thing up. I'm like you could do this in businesses and you had already started. I didn't really share anything other than saying go do more. Oh, you were a big, pivotal moment in that.

Speaker 2: 7:55

Do not take it away you guys and I learned in that two days in person. I reframed my business and it completely changed how I thought about things. And Ben challenged me and so did the other people in the room, cause I was pushing back a little. I was like, no, I can't leave mortgage, I have to keep my safety blanket. And you and I'll never forget Will and Tony the three of you really pushed on me and said no, if you're going to do this, you've got to think outside the box. And that boot camp, that two days, if you guys haven't- been to one of Ben's boot camps.

Speaker 2: 8:27

you need to do it now because it will change how you think about your business, and so I took those tools.

Speaker 1: 8:43

So similar. Let me tell you, which is actually an eight week program, which is all online, which ties to what I'm about to tell you. So we went online with it to reach more people and what I was going to share, because I don't want you giving me any, any kudos you deserve all this.

Speaker 1: 9:00

When you went into the corporate world. You've now been able to go to HR departments and create corporate systems and teach financial literacy and make it almost streamlined for corporations to bridge the gaps of a lack of financial understanding to financial literacy. So talk about why not only did you go into the corporate world not because of me, but why you recognize there was opportunity and you attacked it, because I think that's part of the issue. Sometimes people people who have been in the doors, the buildings, the locker rooms, the boardrooms that you've been in they get seduced by success. They're like geez, like I just keep doing this. But you said no, no, no. I want the impact to be greater, which has now led to the amazing recognition you've received. Why the corporate world? Why the attention to detail? Why slow down to create a system like that? Because you've made a big impact there with corporations.

Speaker 2: 9:55

It was something that I realized was greater than myself and my team itself Working with the NFL. Like you said, it's seduction when you get into those buildings and you're part of a locker room and you're part of a community because those locker rooms, each one of them, is a unique family. Every locker room I walk into every year has a slightly different vibe or feel and I got to the point where I went. I'm impacting 70 lives in every locker room. What if I could do more? What if I could impact the communities that are cheering for these teams? What if I could do more? What if I could impact the communities that are cheering for these teams?

Speaker 1: 10:28

What if I?

Speaker 2: 10:29

could impact the community I live in. And that required me to look outside of pro sports, which has always been my niche. I've always been super fitness heavy and super discipline heavy and super sports centric. And I went. I can take all of those principles and I can give them to anyone in America, because everyone understands sports or they've all done a workout program of some kind at some point in their life. Everybody has tried it once. So the concepts are there.

Speaker 2: 10:56

Why not take that and help people with the one thing that causes the most medical issues, the most stress, the leading cause of divorce, the biggest reason you might move, even if you don't want to. What if we eliminate that burden and we can do it in communities all over the United States, and it doesn't require us to fully be in that city every single time. We can do it remotely and still have the exact same impact. And that was why we started working with corporations, because now I can reach 10 10 000 employees in a day versus 70 guys in a locker room. So I got to drop a pebble in a pond and watch those ripples really go out and have a much larger, wider impact, and that's why I really wanted to get into corporate america because it's where I started. I'm just an average human and I wanted to be able to go help the people that were in my same situation, go through all the things I went through and maybe come out a little better for it.

Speaker 1: 11:51

So let's talk about, now that we've been able to frame the work in athletics, the huge scope now in the corporate world, and then the purpose behind writing train your money. And rather than the stuff that people would expect, because you guys better go buy a copy of the book. And I'm going to make it super, super easy. You just go right into the link that's in the show notes and you click the button, you go buy the book. And here's what I'm going to encourage you to do Don't just buy a copy for yourself, even if you think you know everything about money, because there's perspectives, there's angles, there's ways that she explains things that might help you explain it to a friend differently or more simple, because a lot of people they get to know money so well, and then you have a conversation like, oh my gosh, she knows so much about money or she knows so much about money I don't understand what she's saying. So just some simple ways to look to train yourself with your money and your discipline, the way that you would to go be an athlete or to be successful in business.

Speaker 1: 12:44

But what I want to talk about is the fears. You know, I think a lot of times. You know. The reality is most of America is not working with the clientele that we're working with and they're the highest performers in the world and they're the athletes making tens of millions of dollars in a year. They make enough to take care of their families. Most people, there's fear. Most people, I'm scared to death. Most people, I'm living paycheck to paycheck. Most people, there's the fears of all kinds of things that can happen. What are the most important things you focus on when you're going in and trying to touch that individual who's dealing with fear? When it comes to discipline and saving money?

Speaker 2: 13:26

I want you to go back to your first memory with money. Okay, and this goes for everyone watching this, I want you to just pause for a second and I start this in the book. This is one of the ways I think it helps people reframe how they think about money and why they think about it. But let's start with your core belief of money Because, just like everything else, we are framed by our environment. Money that you can remember. There's probably some things that came in that you don't remember because you were so young. But the first time that you saw money change hands or you watch someone swipe a debit card, in my case, I remember my mom writing a check at the grocery store and I just thought that that magical checkbook got me all the things in the cart and I needed one of those.

Speaker 2: 14:12

We learn about money through our environment before we are educated on how money works, so we formulate these relationships with money and a lot of us are formulating limiting beliefs because we're told things like we can't afford, that that's too expensive, you can't have that right now. And as parents, we're not doing, we're not telling our kids you can't have this because we don't want them to have everything in the world. Money is something that is a usable tool. So if we don't have enough of that resource, we can't use it, and those environmental triggers shape how each and every person feels about money. It creates their emotional bond with it.

Speaker 2: 14:56

And once the emotional bond is created, fear starts to creep in. As we get older and we experience money in different ways, and most people are not experiencing money with that silver spoon in their mouth. They're experiencing it from. We have to choose from this or that. Here's your opportunity cost. You can go here or you can go here. You can have this car, but you can't have this vacation type of a thing. There are things that we have to choose and fears that get built up and all of a sudden we're in our twenties and thirties living life, and money is controlling what we're doing because we don't have a handle on it, and that is fear-based.

Speaker 2: 15:36

That is, us not knowing enough to overcome the fear and create the lifestyle which then brings us to peak performance, which is something you and I have talked about many times. How do you get to the best of the best of the best? When did you have your best month? When did you have your best year? What were you doing? What activities were you doing to get you to that point? Well, money is the same thing If you aren't completing the daily deposits, doing the daily reps single day, in a palatable, easy to use manner, so that you can reframe the fear and turn it into lifestyle choices that benefit you. Now, no one has unlimited money, unless you're Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk, like let's just, let's just keep it a buck. Nobody has unlimited resources. You're. Everyone is always going to have to say can I do that? There's always going to be a limit, no matter who you are. Even with my MBA years making $150 million, they have limits. There are things they cannot do.

Speaker 1: 16:45

Yeah, you're not buying $150 million yacht when you're right, cause I think some people hear this and they're like, okay, whatever they make, make 100. No, it's like, legitimately, they are not buying one hundred and fifty million dollar yacht that a Russian oligarch pays cash for when it falls out of his pocket. There are limits. So I want you guys to listen and not tune out. Ok, go ahead.

Speaker 2: 17:05

No, you're right. Though it's lifestyle we think, we think, oh, you have one hundred million dollars, You've made it, and the reality of $100 million is, yeah, you can live on it and you can live comfortably if you do it right and you make the right financial choices. You can also go broke if you make $100 million, and I've watched guys do it, and it's not because they are trying to be stupid, it's because they think the money is going to last longer than it will and they buy things out of their price range. Same goes with young people starting out. They're making forty thousand dollars a year and they go get the three thousand dollar a month penthouse at the top of some building and maybe mid-sized city and they've used seventy five percent of their income to pay for their rent when they're not quite there in life yet. So there's choices that every single person has to make and if you let fear drive the choices, you are not making good, strategic decisions to deploy your money in ways that will work for your lifestyle.

Speaker 2: 18:05

And really that's what this book is about. It's not to tell you you're good, you're bad, you shouldn't or you should. It's to say here are all the different options you have. How do you want to live Now? Here are the changes you have to make in order to get there, or here are the daily reps that you need to put in in order to make that a reality. And so we took the concept of training your money and we paired it with mental toughness and discipline, not motivation, because motivation doesn't last, discipline lasts. Here are the disciplines, the daily disciplines you have to do to get you where you want to go. And if you slack and you don't do it for a month or two, you're getting yourself further away from your goal, not closer, and that was the general idea behind writing Train your Money.

Speaker 1: 18:45

You know I love when you talk about discipline because I'm a big believer and I just I'm going to be direct and I'm just I'm just going to say it because it really is the same for you. One of the reasons why we've had the growth we've had as a coach when it comes to accountability is because I stay in shape. I do what I say I'm going to do. That's where I think a lot of Hillary's credibility comes from, is she left the mortgage industry. She's not going to tell you these things. She left the mortgage industry where she was a Titan. She was making plenty of money. She didn't need to go and find a way to grow a business. But she decided to go do it for the right reasons and she carried discipline from the mortgage industry into getting into these doors that people dream of getting into and she's been able to grow the business. It's been discipline-based. She's had to have the money to be able to take the risk, but the disciplines for me, when I think of Hillary, it is the gym. Go follow her on social media. I mean, her home gym looks like one of the gyms that you'd walk into at an NFL facility, right, a little smaller, but same type of thing, just a little. So it's the discipline in all areas of life, and many of you have heard me talk about a prize fighter day, and that's where I think the mental toughness, the discipline if you're not taking care of your money, it's going to impact how you feel about wanting to go to work out or to eat healthy or to show up with intentional focus when you get to work.

Speaker 1: 20:05

And so this is why I think, when you attack fear, giving people tools, helping people understand, pay yourself first. You know, when I was a financial advisor, one of the things that say okay, hillary, well, you know, your salary just went from X to Y. Well, what percentage are we going to save in between X and Y before we spend a dollar? When most people, the first paycheck they get, they immediately live to Y and they forget to save, and then they never start saving. And so these are the little things that the book is going to teach you that your child that just graduated college needs to hear. Maybe that colleague that you're mentoring needs to hear. Maybe you need to reread it and connect to it because you're behind where you want to be for retirement. I mean, it's the truth, because most people aren't going to tell you you're behind for retirement. Your financial advisor tells you but you're not going to be honest with yourself to change the behaviors because it's a little bit, it's hard, it's fearful and it can be embarrassing. So, I think, train your money. There's life that you bring to somebody's ability to say, instead of having fear, let's change our behaviors, let's change our disciplines and let's go have the power to choose to have financial freedom.

Speaker 1: 21:12

I love your continued work. I'm so excited that you're an author. I can't wait to help you sell so many copies of this book Because now that, like I just highlighted, people need to buy the book for themselves, the friend, the colleague and others Buy multiple copies, pass it out. But I couldn't be any more excited for you, so proud of the growth and the impact you continue to pursue and, like your dad said, doing it the right way and you do it for the right reasons.

Speaker 2: 21:37

Thank you. I think that's the entire point of living a quality life that you can be proud of and that you can wake up every day and say I'm helping people. And for me, that's why I do what I do. I love to help people. So if someone can take one nugget from this book and use it, I've won people. So if someone can take one nugget from this book and use it, I've won. That's a win for me. I'll never see it and I'm okay with that. I don't need to see it. If their life gets better, it's a win.

Speaker 2: 21:59

So that's why I wrote it and I'm hoping there's a lot of storytelling in it, just so everybody knows each concept that's in the book. There's 10 concepts, 10 chapters. It's a light read, it's not super crazy, but each story in the chapters are real stories that have either happened to myself, one of my NFL players, a friend or a family member. I really did want to make it real and I wanted to make it applicable. So you'll get a couple of fun NFL stories in there and you'll get a couple of my crazy stories that I lived through. So I hope that that's something that resonates with you, that you can take with you or help a friend with. If you have a friend in need, so get your copy.

Speaker 1: 22:35

Well, Hillary, thank you so much for coming back on the burn. Thank you for your continued friendship and being an example for all of us of what happens when you show up with great discipline.

Speaker 2: 22:44

Thank you, Ben.

Speaker 1: 22:46

Make sure everybody check out the show notes. You're going to have all the ways to stay connected with Hillary, all the ways to buy the book, and I'm going to leave you all with this the consistency of Hillary's discipline, which is the consistency of the impact she has with everybody who's going to read the book and every player and everybody in corporate America she now works with, is fueled from her burn. Losing her mom far too early and then establishing a relationship with her dad that that's that reminder that she's not alone and she's got so something so big to fight for. Think about the power to choose she just gave her father to retire. Talk about a burn that fuels somebody. That's why we do this show.

Speaker 1: 23:25

So I saved that final emotional piece because you and I will always have the connection of losing our mothers far too soon. And uh, I'm sure many people tell you often, but from somebody who understands it because I've lived it too your mother is looking down so proud and she's going to make sure that those books get into a lot of people's hands and people are impacted from your continued work. So lots of love your way. I appreciate how you show up in this world and congratulations on the book and to everybody. This is the power of consistency with your discipline and your burn. It's why we do the show and it's why I expect to see you back here next week.