Speaker 1: 0:13

Welcome back to another episode of the Burn.

Speaker 1: 0:16

I am Ben Newman and you know how we do this. Every single week we bring you a story of an athlete, an entertainer, a celebrity, somebody from the business world who's recognized that why and purpose is not enough. There's this underlying burn that actually ignites your why and purpose and causes you to be disciplined on the days you don't feel like it and especially after you win. And then sometimes you know that we do special episodes where there is no guest. You just get me. But today is a special, special episode where the burn is actually all about you. So today, every single one of you listening you are today's guest on the burn, because we're going to talk about you, we're going to talk about your mindset, we're going to talk about your beliefs, we're going to talk about how you choose to show up every single day, because that's the difference in what you achieve in your life and the story that you write, and all I've ever known is the importance of attacking one day at a time. So if you're a brand new listener to the Burn, welcome to the Burn. You're our guest today. If you're a longtime listener, every single season, every episode, you've been with us and there's many of you, and we appreciate you so much. Welcome to the burn and thank you for being our guest on the show.

Speaker 1: 1:53

So let's dive right in. I want to start by asking you this question what have you done for five straight years? What have you done for five straight years? What have you done for five straight years? Now, the important thing about this episode today the way this is going to be structured I'm not going to be able to hear your answers, but the important thing, this is going to feel like one-on-one coaching. You need to answer these questions. What have you done for five straight years? Brush your teeth, eat, shower? Many of you probably can't say you've showered for five straight years. Many of you believe it or not, with all the fasting that goes on these days, you probably can't even say that you've had something to eat for five straight years. Hopefully, every single one of you have brushed your teeth for five straight years. But what have you done for five straight years? What have you done consistently?

Speaker 1: 2:57

Because we know that discipline wins. If you go back to periods of time in your life when you've driven your highest level of success, I would have to imagine that your level of discipline was off the charts. You probably woke up and you know exactly what you needed to do. You knew exactly where you were going. You see, part of the problem with society and for us, when we don't hit our goals, is we stare up at the sky and we say we hope something happens. So you have clarity and vision of what you want, but you forget to pull down that vision, put it right in front of your face and identify the daily disciplines that are going to cause you to win. And if you look back on those periods of time when you've won at your highest level, not only did you have clear vision, you knew exactly what you needed to do every day and you did it probably because you connected to your burn.

Speaker 1: 3:51

And if your burn is anything like mine and many of you know it living one day at a time to honor my mom for all the days that she has not had an opportunity to live. When amyloidosis took my mother's life 11 days before my eighth birthday, she was 38 years old that put a burn inside of me that I will never waste a day. My mom left that journal behind that said beat the statistics, beat the odds, live with the disease that is chronic and fatal. Believe in yourself, combat anything, purpose in life. And my mom would write in that journal every single day where she unleashed her positive mental attitude. It's what caused her to have a burn that got her to the dinner table every single night to ask me how my day was at school and to provide an example for me of what standard over feelings really means and how you show up, especially when you don't feel like it. Because you're an example for somebody that has put a burn inside of me. You could probably feel it. That vein just started popping out of my neck and you know that's not me yelling, that's my passion, saying I want the same for you when you connect to your burn, because when I connect to my burn every single day Janet Fishman, newman Legacy there's no wasting days because I've been given seven extra years that my mom never got. That is a burn that will not go out. That ignites my why and purpose and causes me to be disciplined on the days I don't feel like it, and especially after I win, because there's no seduction of success. When you show up this way, you just keep attacking with an own it mentality, a never finished mindset and you know what that feels like because you've been there.

Speaker 1: 5:31

Think about that period of time for you. You were performing at your highest level. You were locked in on the disciplines. You woke up every day and maybe your burn was a sacrifice you're making for somebody, or you said I won't waste the sacrifice that somebody made for me. Or maybe it was a short term or a long term. Maybe it was a financial goal that had you so fired up to attack. Or maybe it was pain that provided perspective, like my life and my mother's story has done for me. You got to connect to that burn. It's the only way you got to connect to that burn. It's the only way. Hundreds of episodes of this show and you've heard story after story after story of how important the burn is. So have you been connecting to yours? Maybe that's what will cause you to show up to do something for 30 straight days. Maybe it'll cause you to finally stop the excuses and do 75 hard. Maybe it will cause you to do something for a year straight, two years straight, five years straight.

Speaker 1: 6:35

You know, recently I crossed over 1,825 straight days of doing the unrequired workout. That's a workout that's 10 exercises takes 45 minutes Now. Last April April of 2023, when I added 500 pushups a day to it. It takes about an hour and five minutes, but I've done the core of that workout, the 45 minutes every day, for 1,825 straight days. The only time there was a short little gap was 10 days when I had a staph infection removed from my ankle. I was in the hospital. I had my wife bring weights 12 pound weights. I did a thousand curls in the hospital bed. They thought I was crazy. Maybe I am, but maybe driving continual peak performance, staying uncomfortable and never finished mindset, you locking in and saying there are no excuses, there is a standard, because I've been blessed to given this day will cause you to be a little bit crazy and that's when you'll start to unlock what your very best looks like. And I still feel like I'm chasing mine. But when you're crazy enough to lift those weights, when you've had staph infection surgery, had it removed from your ankle, you're in a hospital bed. You're doing 1,000 curls. Then you're on crutches 1,000 curls in the bed. I'd submit to you those 10 days when I couldn't stand were maybe more impressive than the other 1,815 days. So I've never stopped. I've never quit. Why 1,000 curls Because it took 45 minutes, the same as the rest of the workout. But this regular workout, from the planks to the wall sits.

Speaker 1: 8:17

Many of you have done this with me, whether it be at a boot camp, whether it be at an event, whether it be a speaking event, or whether it be at an event, whether it be a speaking event, or whether I just happened to be in your city and you found out I was speaking there and you met me at the hotel. There's so many of you. We've done this workout together and I say thank you because you know the pain of it and it's all body weight. So you cannot hide. There are no excuses. If you're traveling and the gym hotel is under construction, you just do it in your hotel room. There's no excuses, there's nowhere to hide. It's building in an environment where your feelings cannot take over. It's your standards that cause you to keep showing up, and many people might think I'm crazy for doing that for five straight years. And we'll drop in the show notes all what the exercise entails and we'll put some pictures up within the episode.

Speaker 1: 9:12

But here's what I want you to realize this episode is not about me, it's not about what I've done for five years. It's about what maybe you're going to decide to commit to, starting today to change your life. You see, I don't play the comparison game of me to other people. I choose to allow that burn to ignite me every day, for me to be my best, one day at a time, and that's the opportunity that I want to share with you, and many of you are already living this life. That's why many of you have joined our Standard Elite mastermind, because you wanted this type of attack. It's why you come to our boot camps, it's why you're part of Uncommon Live, it's why you've gone through coach to coaches to realize that we all can give more. Or maybe you're part of our academy, which just brought all of our communities together. I'm tired of people choosing to not challenge themselves, to not win. So, even if you don't have the financial budget for a program, we now have the academy. It doesn't cost anything and it connects you to all the members of all of our communities, because I want all of us to win more together. So what have you done for five straight years? Or what have you done for a year? Or what have you done for five straight years? Or what have you done for a year? Or what have you done for 30 days?

Speaker 1: 10:29

And if you haven't been connecting to your burn maybe that's where this starts is you start showing up differently, just by connecting to your burn and realizing that will be the difference in how you attack your life, that you must connect to that burn to have the fire and passion that ignites why and purpose. Too many coaches think that why and purpose is enough. It's not. I'm not saying those things aren't important, but they're different from the burn. See my why and purpose is to educate, empower and inspire individuals to uncover their passions and desires to seek a greater vision for themselves. I wrote that down in March of 2004, and I've said it every single day since. But that why and purpose is not enough. It's that burn of being the example. It's that burn to be the example for my kids through continuing to leave my mother's legacy, to show up to be the best that I can be for my family and for my each of you. That's the burn that ignites the why and purpose and causes me to be disciplined on the days I don't feel like it and especially after I win.

Speaker 1: 11:33

And how many stories of individuals have you heard on our show, this show, the Burn, where you're the guest today. So now you gotta answer the question because if we need to start with you just connecting to your burn, because that's something I've done for far more than five years and that's something I'll do for the rest of my life, now, as I record this today, we're on day 1839 straight days. So it's also important for me to tell you, once I got past five years, I didn't stop, I didn't take a rest day. I've not had a single rest day from working out in over five years, and that might combat what a doctor might tell us or whoever might tell us.

Speaker 1: 12:15

Then surround yourself with people who believe in you. You know, dr Gabrielle Lyon is the one who helped me get through the staph infection. Many of you have heard our story of how we met. I couldn't be doing what I'm doing and performing this level without her. I couldn't be doing what I'm doing and performing this level without my dear friends at First Form Andy Frisella, sal Frisella, all of you that push and challenge me. I couldn't be doing this at this level without all the individuals that transcend Phil Heath and all of the amazing individuals, len Legati, every single one of you and, most importantly, I couldn't do it with the crazy, unwavering support of Amy and Isaac and Kennedy, my family.

Speaker 1: 13:02

So is your environment set up for you to win? Are you connecting to your burn and are you listening to the naysayers who tell you that your goals are crazy? Are you surrounding yourself with the people who love you and support you and help you grow, who say it's possible because some of these workouts have not been convenient and I did them, some of them impeded on the family, but I got it done. There will never be a replacement for the hard work that your highest level of greatness requires of you. You know I recently started reading a book by Arnold Schwarzenegger called Be Useful Seven Tools for Life, and on the back of the book I want to read something to you which is really powerful as we continue in your interview of the Burn today. If there's one unavoidable truth in this world, it's that there's no substitute for putting in the work. There's no shortcut or growth hack or magic pill that can get you around the hard work of doing your job well, of winning something you care about or of making your dreams come true. People have tried to cut corners and skip steps in the process for as long as hard work has been hard, eventually those people either fall behind or get left in our dust, because working your ass off is the only thing that works 100% of the time for 100% of the things worth achieving.

Speaker 1: 14:38

If you haven't started yet, start today. What have you not given yourself permission for yet? Is it running that 5K, running that marathon, writing that book, putting your head in the Bible every day? I certainly hope it's the brushing the teeth, the showering and eating, unless you're on a fast, maybe your streak starts right now. Maybe the self-talk dies right now. Maybe your limiting beliefs end now and you lean into this opportunity to get uncomfortable, knowing that the burn will fuel you through it, knowing that you don't have to be five years past like I am right now and still going and compare yourself to me. No, you start at your day one, if day one needs to start now. If you're on day 1,000, go to 1,001. If you're on day 456, you just make sure that you dominate today and go to 457 tomorrow, but don't let anybody or anything and don't let yourself hold you back from being your best. So I encourage you to find that one thing that you say yes to today. Many of you have heard me talk about a never do it again list. As you learn about yourself by challenging yourself, start keeping a list of the things you're going to stop doing so that you can keep doing the things that challenge you, push you and make you uncomfortable.

Speaker 1: 16:24

Create the environment with the four P's of the standard. If you're not part of the academy, make sure you join the Academy. We're going to put a link in the show notes. The Academy is free. There's an entire one hour course on the four Ps of the standard. If you have my book the standard the wall street journal bestseller. On page 24, coaches, coaches, leaders, some of the highest level leaders and coaches in the world are saying thank you for writing the book the Standard, because there's now a manual that tells us exactly what the standard is. On page 24, you will see the four Ps of the standard.

Speaker 1: 17:00

This is a two-minute process that walks you through the problem, the planning, the performance and the payoff. When you learn what those four Ps are, if you join the Academy, you'll get free access to that webinar. That two-minute process, once you connect to your burn, will place you in a mindset that you will not quit. You will have a desire to keep stacking days. You will understand what an own-it mentality feels like like, and you will drive a never finished mindset to understand what continual peak performance can mean for you.

Speaker 1: 17:34

Are you in? If you're in, throw it up on your social media, tag me in it, tell me that you're in or keep it to yourself. But if you want the accountability, tag me and I'll support you. If you want the accountability, join the academy. Our team, our community, will love you and support you. Stop listening to the politics that try to tell us how to live. Stop listening to the media that tries to confuse us. Stop listening to the naysayers who say it's not possible. And come join us to get the love and the support that you deserve. Because I believe in you and if I'm crazy enough to do this workout for over five years and still going, then you know that any big goal you share with me will not be met with somebody telling you how crazy you are. I'll say I love you, I support you and maybe we even get you to think bigger, because you will never get another shot at living your best life.

Speaker 1: 18:32

My mom is not getting any of her days back, but now, with my connection to my burn, through her, I get to live for her and be an example for those little eyes that watch me in our house. Be an example for those little eyes that watch me in our house. Be an example. Be the best you can be, just one day at a time. Continue to challenge yourself. Take the questions I've asked you Today in your episode of the Burn, you being the guest, take them serious, answer them and put action behind your answers, because those who pay attention to the Burn, those who live to the Burn, those who live that uncommon life we are not and this is not for everybody, we are not those individuals who tell you how great we want to be. We're the ones who, when you have a conversation with our action, you figure out how bad we really want it. You know I still have two coaches. I'm reading books every day, journaling my burn every day, connecting to the pain of how my father beat me down with his words every day to now recognize there's a little boy inside of me that's strong, locking the gates and bringing the right people into my life on a daily basis, connecting to those four P's of the standard. Come join us so that we can do the same together. Challenge yourself to start today. If you'd already challenged yourself, then keep going. We're together in this fight. So how are we going to finish with this statement? These three words lock the gates. Lock the gates.

Speaker 1: 20:17

Little story for you. Two years ago, I stood at what I now know was my father's deathbed. It was November the 4th and I was feeding my father oatmeal, eggs and coffee. My father and I, my entire life, had had a strained relationship, ups and downs, challenge and adversity. That, throughout my life, has enabled me to build some significant strength. My strength, my burn, as many of you know and might remember, comes from my mom and her battle with a disease called amyloidosis.

Speaker 1: 21:03

My mother actually divorced my dad when I was six months old. I never knew my parents together. My dad was a drug addict, alcoholic, manic, depressive, bipolar, everything under the sun. And my mom said that's enough. And she had the courage, as a single mom, to say I'm going to fight to make ends meet. My mother ended up passing away from amyloidosis, instilling in me lessons to embrace the opportunity, to attack one day at a time and to learn even as she battled amyloidosis, and we had 24-hour nursing care in our home. She would still come to the dinner table every single night and ask me how my day was at school. And she helped me realize, when she passed the pen of her journal to me 11 days before my eighth birthday, that it's not how long you live, it's how you choose to live your life. So my mother's life, having passed away at 38 and I'm 45, has instilled this burn inside of me, and it's your burn that ignites your why and purpose and causes you to show up on the days you don't feel like it, and especially after you win. And so you know what drives me.

Speaker 1: 22:14

But I was at my dad's deathbed, the man who my mother struggled with, who then I had to because you can't divorce your dad when he moved back into the house drug addict, alcoholic, he's passed out or high on the couch every single night after my mother passes away. I didn't get to divorce him, but I sure got the pain and challenge of living with him, and the verbal abuse that I endured from my father oftentimes made me feel so weak. There were so many times when I look back on it now I wish my dad would have just punched me, because the bruises would have gone away. But sometimes your words can last decades and I don't know about you if there's pain you're holding on to or you've been through similar. But I stood at my father's deathbed, still seeking his approval as a 43-year-old man, and in between, bites of oatmeal and eggs and him telling me that the coffee wasn't hot enough. For the first time in my life, my father looks up at me and he said Ben, I'm very proud of you. I heard those words for the first time. I'd sought those words, thinking that was the truth. That's what I needed to have the strength to know that I was okay, to know that I was worth something. Let me take you one year sooner.

Speaker 1: 23:41

One year sooner, I was told my dad was going to die. Then, same situation. I'd approached the hospital, oxygen in the nose. I'm told he's on his deathbed, and I told my wife, amy, babe, I'm going to say everything I need to say. We'd had these conversations through the years, but this was going to be it. I'm finally going to say everything that needs to be said. And I stood on the end of his bed and I told him everything and finally I said, dad, all I ever wanted to do was make you proud. And my dad just looked at me and he said nothing.

Speaker 1: 24:20

I remember walking out of that hospital room that day and I called Amy. I'm like that son of a, like what is his problem? I opened up my heart and gave him the opportunity to just say the words, and he couldn't say it and so I left and I was still seeking and I had to hear it. I had to hear it. Now, fast forward back to November 4th, just two years ago, and finally he says it and I felt nothing. My whole life, that's what I'd sought was to hear those words and I felt nothing. You see, I walked out that day and I realized the truth was that I didn't need those words, and so I've shared a lot of stories over the last eight years, being part of John's amazing work and impact on all of you, but I'd never shared this story, and I don't want any of you who have something holding you back or you're trying to seek a truth that's not the truth, to keep pursuing that truth. I want each and every single one of you to lean into what makes you strong. You know it had always been for me, my mom never wasting a day knowing that she didn't get all the days that I've been given. She didn't get the days many of you have been given. We can't waste them Now.

Speaker 1: 25:48

I wasn't able to find the next part of this by myself. I needed help. I was blessed to meet who's now become my physician, dr Gabrielle Lyon. She's incredible and in my first onboarding call with Dr Lyon, it's my doctor, my primary physician. You know you would have thought we would have talked about things physical, or the heart or cholesterol and things of that nature, which we did, would have thought we would have talked about things physical, or the heart or cholesterol and things of that nature, which we did. But after she started asking me deep questions that no doctor ever had she's that incredible she said there's something I want to do. I want to help provide you your mental freedom.

Speaker 1: 26:25

Now here I am. I'm a mental conditioning coach. This is what I do for a living. I spent five years with Coach Saban and won two national championships. I've been 10 years with Coach Kleiman three national championships at North Dakota State, a Big 12 championship now at Kansas State. I've worked with coaches or players on the last six Super Bowl teams, my work with Microsoft, google, all the corporate work that we do, working with some of the fastest growing companies in the world, having the opportunity to coach behind the scenes, many of the speakers that you're hearing on this summit and other speakers and coaches and leaders. It's been incredible and you all see that, but I still needed my deepest level of mental freedom, and that was just two years ago. So, regardless of what you see, we're all in this fight together. I still have two coaches.

Speaker 1: 27:15

I'm reading books every single day and I needed Dr Lyon to introduce me to Dr Silva. And in my first meeting with Dr Silva I will never forget it Dr Silva says to me she says Ben, she says I want you to picture gates. Can you picture gates for me? What would these gates look like? She goes I just want you to picture gates. And so I closed my eyes and I pictured these big wrought iron gates and there's stones on each side of these gates and they were like 30 feet high and I could just picture them and I was standing outside of these gates and I'm looking up at these gates and she says I now want you to envision opening up these gates and I want you to envision yourself stepping through these gates. I want each and every single one of you to start envisioning this for you, if there's something that had held you back, or there's maybe these proverbial gates that you need to walk through. And she says open up those gates and envision yourself walking through those gates. And then she says I want you to turn around and I want you to lock those gates.

Speaker 1: 28:21

She said you have the power to remove the people that don't have a place in your life. You have the power to choose, to make the choices, to put the people around you, to build the environments, to focus on the disciplines that make you feel strong. I now realize I have the ability to connect to that little boy inside of me who sought that approval and he's strong because his mom taught him to be strong. And I know every single day now, when I walk through these proverbial gates and I think about it every single morning before I begin my attack to do the things that other people are unwilling to do, just like for you in your life. You can't just show up to the positive summit. You got to show up. You got to identify the disciplines and then attack it, one day at a time. But you've got to walk through those gates. You've got to lock those damn gates every single day and you have to make sure that you're willing to do the things that are going to cause you to be great, to leave an impact on this world, and Dr Silva helped me find that mental freedom to walk through those gates.

Speaker 1: 29:31

I now feel and coach and love differently than I ever have, because I understand the strength that lies inside of me. I want you to understand the strength that lies inside of you. I want you to remember that everything you need is already in you. I want you to make sure that you surround yourself with the right people. When you bring those people through the gates with you, it's the right people every day, so that when you walk through those gates, you never think or drive discipline the same way ever again. It's something new for you and you think differently and you attack differently and you live differently and you impact differently, because that's what creates impact. That is what creates legacy.