Speaker 1: 0:13

Welcome back to another episode of the Burn. This is an incredibly special episode for me because of how much time this guy and I have spent talking about life, talking about being the best that you can be, and I have been so inspired by John O'Leary and I'll share. One of the coolest things about our relationship and I shared when we walked in the building is that we always pick up right where we left off. There's no fluff, there's no nonsense, and the number of coffee talks that this guy and I have had together, where I was challenged challenged to go to an uncomfortable place because of things that he saw in me and our first interaction together, it was really, really cool. He was speaking at a Northwestern mutual meeting.

Speaker 1: 0:59

I was still a financial advisor at the time. I had been doing speaking, but not full-time like I do now and coaching work, and I remember I hear this John O'Leary and I'm mesmerized, I'm absolutely mesmerized and I get done and I'm just like this guy is a gift to the world and I literally walk up and I give the guy a hug and that's why he wanted to sit so close for the interview. So I I give the guy a hug and I say, dude you, you are a gift to the world. And it was almost like, hey, long lost brother, where have you been? And we started having these coffee talks which turned into traveling the country together. And recently you sent me it was a text message of how terrible our workbooks looked. We're getting better people.

Speaker 1: 1:43

We're still trying to get better. We did a workshop in Greenville, South Carolina, and we were so like just new, but we believed so much in just pouring into people then and that's one of the things that I admire.

Speaker 1: 1:56

Every time that we're together, it's like you still have this burn inside of you to just keep it going, and it's always such a blessing, even though there's oftentimes way too much distance in our time together. But this is one of the greatest inspirations that I have in my life and you know John's book overwhelming odds that his parents wrote, a book I could not put down. I literally had a flashlight in the bed because Amy would have killed me. This is a true story. Isaac was a newly born baby. I mean hardly even the kid wouldn't sleep and literally Amy like sleep was so precious because he was waking up so many times. I literally had a flashlight, I could not put the book down and then to go on and to write his own book On Fire and to change the world with every person that you touch, all fueled by your burn.

Speaker 1: 2:52

And I know that the burn is different for you because you blew up your garage as a nine-year-old boy.

Speaker 1: 2:55

Feel the burn and at nine years old, you know John was playing with fire and blows up the house and he was burned on 99% of his body the first night. He was given a half a percent chance of making it through the first night, and so I would love for you to provide a little bit of insight on what that was like for you, because I think so many times and we have people who just they're they're holding on to their fears, their doubts, their uncertainties, their pain, rather than shifting their perspective and counting their blessings. And that's one thing for you you don't make excuses, you count your blessings, which are all on these walls, and I just couldn't be any more excited to just go deep with you None of this fluff stuff, but to go deep. And so I'd love to hear from you what's on your mind and what it was like as a nine-year-old boy and how that fuel continues to just burn and burn and burn inside of you today in the most positive way, that the world could experience.

Speaker 2: 3:52

Well, first of all, just congratulations on the pivot in your life and on doing it for the right reasons. I'm aware of it and I'm not alone. It's why you keep growing, why you keep touching lives and why I know your best days are in front of you, ben. It's what I saw in you 10 years ago and what I see in you still today. As far as when I got burned myself, it was age 9. Like you mentioned, 99% of my body damaged, 87% was third degree, less than a 1% chance of surviving the first night. And then the doctor added on to that by saying and those odds will never go up, so it's not a matter of well if he gets through the first night. That's the danger field. No, it's done, it's just done.

Speaker 2: 4:32

And I remember, even as a child, knowing that it was done, I had kind of conflicting ideas going on in the back of my mind. Number one I was terrified about how my father would react, because I just blew up his house and I knew the old man was going to be furious. I knew I let him down. I knew he was at the office. I knew he'd come home, see what I did and kill me. So the fire didn't kill me. Dad was going to do it like done. And he walks into the room and in my office I have a picture of the prodigal son. But he walks into this emergency room. He comes right over to me, points down and says John, this emergency room. He comes right over to me, points down and says John, look at me when I'm talking to you. So now he's got my attention, I know I'm done. And then he says I have never been so proud of anyone in my entire life and, my little buddy, today I am so proud to be your dad. And then my dad goes I love you, I love you, I love you and Ben, I crossed my arms and shut my eyes and I remember thinking, oh my gosh, nobody told my dad what happened. The old man doesn't know, man, maybe I can get away with it, and yet he does know. And so there's this grace and there's this love element.

Speaker 2: 5:37

And then, right behind my dad, comes my mom. And this is the turning point for me and you have a connection with your mother too, and it's a one of my favorite stories to think about on the way she influenced your life and how she continues to influence your life. Well, me too. My mom influenced my life at age nine. When she walks into this room, she takes my right hand in hers, pats my bald head and then she goes I love you.

Speaker 2: 5:59

And for me as a kid, that's when I realized it was serious. Before that I thought it was all about the material, like the house or my skin might get damaged. It wasn't about life and death, it was just the stuff out there. And so I realized finally, this is serious if they're both saying this. So I looked up at her and I said Mom, knock it off with the love, am I going to die? And I assumed she would say no, you're not going to die, please, you're going to be fine. And instead she took my hand in hers, she patted back my balding head and then she goes John, look at me. I look up at my mom and she goes do you want to die? I go no, mom, I don't want to die. And she goes then take the hand of God, you walk the journey with him and you fight like you never fought before.

Speaker 2: 6:47

And so on January 17th 1987, as a nine-year-old kid, with my father on this side, my mother over here, a little boy, literally burned on his entire body, decided to take the hand of God. Quit making excuses, back to your earlier point and trust that tomorrow's going to show up if you're bold enough to fight for it. It was a fight that started on January 17. It took five months of hospitalization. It cost amputation, dozens of surgeries, years of therapy and the fight continues.

Speaker 2: 7:14

The burn continues, but it is worthy. You know, like the thing you're going through, as you go through it, it's worth it and I have always found these are great successes all around me right now Great. I learn an awful lot more from my failures, from my tragedies, from the adversity, from the long nights of the soul than I've ever learned climbing some mountain or high-fiving someone at the top. I learn a lot more through my failures in life than I do from my successes. So I've been fortunate because I've learned an awful lot through many failures, not just the fire, but many that have followed, and part of what fuels me forward is that burn. It was with me as a kid. It's with me as a man.

Speaker 1: 7:53

I think one of the amazing things is how God has put people in your life to make sure that that burn didn't go out and to challenge you in the most uncomfortable times. And you see it on this wall, you see it on that wall and you see the blessings of your absolutely beautiful family. And I want you to talk to us about Jack Buck. You know Jack Buck, one of the greatest announcers of all time. Right, I mean people outside of Cardinals Nation know Jack Buck. I mean Hall of Fame broadcaster and you talk about. It's not about you, it's about something bigger than you, story after story that you've told me. Just all these people that God has made sure were in your life at the right time to help you realize you can keep fighting and this is not about you and Jack Buck to go into the Hall of Fame. And when you go into the Hall of Fame you get one baseball Right, and Jack Buck gave you that baseball Right.

Speaker 2: 8:54

Bad decision by Jack, I don't know what to say. He made a mistake, made many mistakes.

Speaker 1: 8:58

That was one more, but the reason why is because of what he did for you and the relationship that you built. So tell us about that.

Speaker 2: 9:06

Awesome, I will and I'm going to back into it. You talked about the value of people, touching people and elevating their lives. So I met Ben, randomly, comes up, gives me that goofy hug and says you know, you are a gift to the world, brother. It was like a wrestling move as he picks me up and I'm like oh so, there's my workout for the week. And then we stayed friends. After that. You introduced me to friends of yours in Greenville, South Carolina, where you and I spoke. We met a guy there named Steve Grant. Steve Grant's picture is behind me on this podcast wall because what neither Ben nor I knew when we were speaking in South Carolina was that eight days earlier, steve Grant lost his second son to an overdose. He lost his first son three years before that to an overdose. He was done with work, he was done with life and then, in step, john and Ben reminding him that God uses everything for a purpose bigger than we can fathom. But you got to keep moving, you got to say yes. That guy behind me on this wall is saying yes and he's now teaching kids in high schools around the world about the value of their lives and about the value of making the right decisions. Because he showed up for that event, because he heard your story, he heard what your mother did through her story and he was reminded that his story is not over yet. So, one by one, we changed the world.

Speaker 2: 10:14

Jack Buck was certainly that proof for me. I was introduced to Jack first as a child. He's a broadcaster for the St Louis Cardinals. I love the baseball team. He's a broadcaster for the St Louis Cardinals. I love the baseball team. I love the Cardinals, I love Jack. But I never met him.

Speaker 2: 10:27

Ben, I got burned on a Saturday and by Sunday afternoon I'm stretched out in a hospital bed dying. I can't see, I can't move, I can't communicate. There's a trach, but I could hear. And into this darkness and that's a great metaphor, but into this darkness steps the one thing I would actually recognize, which was the voice of the Cardinal, great announcer, jack Buck. And he says to me kid, kid, wake up. You are going to live, you are going to survive, keep fighting.

Speaker 2: 10:56

John O'Leary, day at the ballpark will make it all worthwhile. And then he goes see you soon and he walks out. He is told by the doctors and nurses that the little boy is going to die. Like no reason for hope here. And instead of just surrendering to that? Because there's a lot of experts in bad news. They trade in it daily. And if you don't believe me, watch your 10 o'clock news tonight for farther validation. A lot of bad news going on More at 10. They'll tell you how lousy it is to have the economy killing it right now, to have unemployment so low right now. More attendants, it's about to get bad out there. They'll tell you how bad everything is. Jack Buck heard how bad everything was and instead of just saying oh, I guess that's it, he went home. He asked the question what more can I do?

Speaker 2: 11:38

And the following day there's a little boy named John O'Leary dying in a burn center bed, and this man feels the burn to go make a difference for something bigger than himself. He shows up in my life one more time, tells me that I'm going to make it, tells me we're going to have John O'Leary Day at the ballpark, gives me a goal worth fighting for, leaves. And then he comes back the following day. It's not a transaction or a drive-by. It's a relationship, and relationships take time. That's why you and I can pick right back up. It's yeah, we don't see each other every day. But the relationship has formed. The foundation is firm let's go, let's go. Jack formed that relationship over time. He takes me to John O'Leary Day at the ballpark. He starts sending me baseballs because he learns I can't hold anything with my hands, and each baseball came with a note that said kid, if you want a second baseball, write a thank you letter. So I do once and then I do a second, then I do a third. By the end of that summer I'd sent 60 thank you letters to Jack Buck, to 60 various ball players, thanking them for signing letters and balls for me, teaching a little boy with no chance at life how to not only survive but live.

Speaker 2: 12:43

Went back to grade school, high school, college and graduation night he shows up with that package you referenced. He gave me the crystal baseball and the note on it then said Kid, I'm not sure he ever called me John once. Kid, this means a lot to me. I hope it means a lot to you too. Enjoy it's yours. This is the baseball I received when I went into the Hall of Fame. It's made of crystal. It is priceless. There is one like it in the world.

Speaker 2: 13:11

And then he goes don't drop it and he hands me that baseball. And those are the last words he spoke to me this side of eternity. And when he handed them to me, ben, I'm a 22-year-old college drunk, unemployed, misguided, non-directional, no clue to do in my life, no real confidence in my life, never dated in my entire life. Kid, he had no clue that you and I would be hanging out today talking about feeling the burn. No clue that I would write a book where we celebrate his generosity. No clue that I'd get married, that I'd name my first kid after him. I think all he knew on day one that one person can make a difference for another, and that's enough, like that's enough. One person can in fact make a difference for another, and that is enough. And he did that for two decades. He transforms my life and I'm grateful for Jack Buck even this day.

Speaker 1: 14:00

Every time I hear that story.

Speaker 2: 14:02

That's the truncated version, man. That's without the emotion, but it is such a powerful story.

Speaker 1: 14:12

Because there's so much to that story and he came to you in a place where he knew that you could not do something and you've hit on two just unbelievable point. I mean I could, we could literally talk all day. But if you could speak to the person right now because we all have pain, we all have doubts, everybody has a story, everybody listening and that individual who they're just having the hardest time shifting their perspective right now, how important is it to connect to that burn, to shift that perspective, to take action when you're telling yourself it's just, it's not for me Correct, how important is that I think it is everything.

Speaker 2: 14:52

Showing up, engaged, all in and committed is the vast majority of success in life, however you want to define it. I really don't care how people define it. You got to figure out what it means for you. I know what it means for me, but showing up, going, having the audacity to fully engage once you're there, like that's part of it. That's a huge part of it for me, ben, what I do every morning is, as the sun rises, I ask a question I think all of us ask Every morning. We ask it. The difference is I ask it not as a victim to the day, I ask it as a victor. And the question I ask every morning, typically from my knees, sometimes from a screen port, sometimes with a coffee in hand, sometimes with a child in my lap. The question I ask is why me? And I don't ask it like oh, why me? I like I'm so freaking, fired up and I wish I could use other terminology right now because I would. I am so grateful.

Speaker 2: 15:45

I cannot believe I cannot still. I cannot believe I lived. Why me? I cannot believe I cannot still. I cannot believe I lived. Why me? I cannot believe my mom and dad greeted me with that kind of grace. Why me? I cannot believe a busy announcer made time for a nobody. Why me? I cannot believe the prettiest girl I've ever met still and I've met a lot of pretty girls said yes when I asked her to marry me. I cannot believe she gave me four kids. I cannot believe I get to do what I get to do for a living. I cannot believe I believe in the promise of salvation for eternal consequences. Why me? So I am the luckiest guy in any room that I walk into, but I hope you come up to me and everybody paying attention to the burn comes up to me and says I'm going to challenge you on that.

Speaker 2: 16:23

Because every day since I watched that episode with Ben Newman, I've been asking why? Me too, and my list is longer than yours. O'leary, let's go, let's talk about it. My list is pretty long because I take inventory of what I got. Most of us are expert at taking inventory of what we don't have Our crappy parents where we were born, the challenges we face, our amputation, our lousy president or the lousy president before this one, or a horrible government. Pick your poison for the day. Everybody's got it. They love to complain about it. They trade in it. I trade in joy, and joy is sustaining, it is life-giving, it is contagious. It is contagious and it's good and it's true and it served me well, and the cool thing is it now is serving others well, so I'm trading in that. So that's my first question to those who are struggling themselves. Like me too. My days aren't perfect, but they're good and they're getting better.

Speaker 2: 17:14

The second question I ask is who cares? And this is where I feel the burn who cares? Many of us ask it like this Like who cares? I guess I'll just stay at home today, it doesn't matter anyway. Well, I know for a fact it does matter.

Speaker 2: 17:26

I've been influenced by those who decided to care, and so when I ask who cares, I ask it like who cares if it's hard, or I don't know what to say next, and I usually don't. That's why I'm stuttering over these words, or I don't feel like I'm qualified to speak to that audience or this audience, or I'm tired from being on plans all week long. You know what? Who cares? It's about something bigger than you, and so that eventually feeds into what my mission for life is. And if you ask the question who cares and answer it, you ultimately come up with the answer.

Speaker 2: 17:57

I choose to thrive because I choose to care because and for me, I choose to care because personal. But this is why I feel the burn. God demands it, my family deserves it and the world has started for it. Let's go. And so, uh, it's why I sprint out to do great work, but it's also why I sprint home to love the reasons why I'm doing it in the first place, ben. So that's my mission, that's my burn right there. I choose to thrive because God demands it, my family deserves it and the world is Start for it. And if you don't believe me, open your doors and look. There's start for it, so show up for.

Speaker 2: 18:25

And then, thirdly, I ask the question every night I learn from Jack Buck what more can I do? It's led to a formation of faith. It's led to me doing more for my parents. It's led to a lot of forgiveness and a lot of sacrifice. It's led to a charitable outreach organization we've started. It's led to my wife and I saying yes to Big Brothers and Big Sisters two different times. I'm a board member there. It's led to me speaking and then podcasting, and then writing a book and then just finishing up a second book, and it leads to success.

Speaker 2: 18:53

But more than that, it leads to significance, because if you can do life daily better than you did it the day before, that's called compound interest. Compound interest has a freaking killer return and you can try to invest with financial planners or whoever like, go for it that way financially. But, man, if you invest in yourself and other people, that is going to create a compound interest you can't fathom. So I have been earning compound interest for about the last 10 years and you're part of it, ben. And then you've introduced me to John Tripoli down in Greenville, who introduced me to Steve Grant up there, who's introduced me to a couple of his friends down in Miami, florida.

Speaker 2: 19:28

That's just compound interest. That's doing what compound interest does. It pays its way forward, but to collect it you got to know what it is, you got to know the value of it and you got to show up. So that's a long answer to your simple question. But for those who are struggling today me too Every day is a struggle and it's worth it. So move on. Let that struggle redeem something in you that makes you an even better, more compassionate, more faithful person today than you were yesterday and then watch what happens in your life going forward 10 years ago, I told you you were a gift to the world.

Speaker 1: 20:04

You are an absolute gift to the world.

Speaker 2: 20:06

I'm going to cut you off before you point the finger, then close we are. What my story is evidence of is the CEO and the custodian matter in equal measure. The people we don't want in our country and the ones who are already there killing it matter in equal measure. My entire medical team, for the most part, were immigrants. Jack Buck was a stranger. My mom and dad didn't belong in a burn center, like none of us were immigrants. Jack Buck was a stranger. My mom and dad didn't belong in a burn center, like none of us were called, like we weren't ready for this.

Speaker 2: 20:34

And then they showed up, they said yes to the next thing in front of them and they became, by doing so, gifts to the world. So when you told me that 10 years ago, I would have disagreed because I didn't feel like it. Now I know you're right, but I know you are too, and I know Grant, who's capturing this all right now, is too. And I know you are too, and I know Grant who's capturing this all right now is too. And I know all of your listeners, every one of them, all, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands they are too. But stop acting like you're less than that. That's my just. Stop acting like you're not worthy. You are worthy and the world needs you to show up and engage fully. So let us feel that burn and let's watch what happens afterwards, because we are gifts to the world. I love you, baby Come on.

Speaker 2: 21:14

So this is a picture of the wall of individuals I've interviewed in the past and, ben Newman, if you look below that picture you called out, you see a picture of yourself. I knew you were coming in today so I just got that framed earlier this morning. The one above is of Ozzie Smith. The very first baseball that I got when I learned how to ride again was Ozzie's, and so that ball is 33 years old and that was the first time I met the guy who signed it for me.

Speaker 2: 21:38

So it's meaningful, but no more meaningful than this woman, a lady who, at age 88, has run three dozen Ironmen and did not begin running until she was age 49. Had never put a pair of tennis shoes on. Or this guy who jumps off the Golden Gate Bridge. Jumps off the Golden Gate Bridge, is one of the only guys who ever survived that, and now he goes around the world teaching people that their life has meaning, life has value. Or this guy who attempted to murder two different people, was sent away for jail for the rest of his life, meets a rabbi, meets these two nuns, finds Christ, gets converted, finds that there's more for him in life than he thought, that he has value, goes on to get out, gets his GED after learning how to read and eventually becomes a professor at Harvard. So that's these guys, that's this wall.

Speaker 1: 22:29

That guy led me to Christ. And there's John Gordon. That guy led me to Christ huh.

Speaker 2: 22:33

So it's a wall of people that I respect, and what I love about them is they're ordinary. I mean, who's more ordinary than Ben Newman or John Gordon or John O'Leary or Becky Hatter? These are ordinary folks who decide, and it is a choice you don't have to make it. But they decide to do awesome things in life and I want to be like them. And how about this wall? All right, so this wall, these are folks.

Speaker 2: 22:58

You may not know all those people over there. I bet you know the majority of these people over here Martin Luther King Jr, abraham Lincoln, oscar Romero and then Mother Teresa. These are kind of like for me, like the Mount Rushmore of people who have utilized what gifts they had to make a profound difference. And so I love these four characters. I love that they're holding children. In all the pictures there's the prodigal son coming home to a father whose one hand is very feminine, the other hand is very masculine, and yet it takes both for love to really take root.

Speaker 2: 23:31

It's a painting done by Rembrandt. It's Rembrandt's second attempt at it. The first attempt was when he was killing it professionally, and this is after he went bankrupt, after he lost a wife and two kids. He painted this again because he understood what real loss and what real homecoming looked like, and it's a great painting. This is not the real Rembrandt, by the way, in case you thought, wow, he's got a Rembrandt hanging up, I don't.

Speaker 2: 23:52

And then the final picture over here. It's called the Pale Blue Dot. It's the farthest picture ever taken in the history of the world, and in the middle of a sunbeam is Earth, and it reminds me of how little our problems are, and it reminds me of how little our problems are, but how big our God is. And so those are the pictures that I have on this side of the wall. That's what I look at each day when I'm over here, working, but backing me up the foundation of my life.

Speaker 2: 24:16

This is it, baby. These are my family members from my parents and siblings, grandparents, my wife, and through travel, I have the opportunity of going all around the world and I take one kid with me on every trip. And I have the opportunity of going all around the world and I take one kid with me on every trip, and so You'll see a picture of John with his son, henry, in Ireland, or Grace and dad in Florida, or Jack and his dad in San Diego, patrick with his daddy in DC, and so my work has allotted me the opportunity to travel the world, but I know who I want to go with and I ultimately know who I want to return to. So I don't work for work's sake. I work to change the world for better for these guys. That's my office. Welcome to it.