Speaker 2: 0:00

How you respond to the event right, and we speak to this all the time with our clients. It's not the event, it's the response to the event. I had an unfortunate event and again, the marathon's not the important part, but what's important to me was to honor the commitment.

Speaker 1: 0:13

You can only lead somebody to the level of the Burn. I am Ben Newman and you know how we do this. Every single week, we're going to bring you a story of an athlete, an entertainer, a celebrity, a coach, somebody from the business world who helps us understand that why and purpose is not enough. It's the underlying burn that ignites your why and purpose, that causes you to show up on the days you don't feel like it, and especially after you win. For those of you that can see his face on the screen, you already know who our guest is. It is Sean O'Brien, making a return visit. However, on this visit, we're going to announce a few things. I'm going to make him very uncomfortable because I'm controlling the mic right now. I'm going to make him talk about things that he normally doesn't want to talk about, because he deserves it, and what this may empower some of you to do is, if you think sometimes the way he thinks to where he likes to hustle in the dark, as he likes to say, sometimes you got to be a little bit louder to let people know and to inspire people to choose the right action. Now for those of you that know the story from when we originally met. We met through our dear friend, mike Bellotti. Heaven sushi Jeez. It feels like it was darn near a decade ago in Sacramento, california.

Speaker 1: 1:47

I was there to speak, had no idea where the relationship would go Otherwise it was some damn good sushi that night. And, fast forward, there was a coaching relationship. I was helping Sean. He started to share his desires. I started to see this guy's a vice president of a major national medical device company. This guy's on fire. He's got something to him. He wants to get into coaching and speaking. And I realized very quickly this wasn't just somebody who called me that wanted to get interested in coaching and speaking. I felt a connection to Sean that led me to say I think we can grow together and you fast forward to today.

Speaker 1: 2:25

During COVID we were able to build what many of you there's hundreds of you that are part of our Uncommon Live community. It's an online coaching platform and he and I are live with members of that community every single month and we do things differently. There's no bad stuff about us on the internet. You're not reading any bad stuff Like. We're guys who have over 30 years of coaching experience combined, coaching some of the highest performers in the world. So, whether it's uncommon live, whether it's him coaching and taking on leadership training for fortune 100 organizations in the world, there's a lot of work he continues to do behind the scenes that I keep allowing him to stay behind the scenes no longer he played college baseball at Duke. He's a division one athlete, which led him to have a knack to now coach some of the highest performing athletes in collegiate athletics, also coaching professional athletes, coaching teams at the college level. So he's going on to do some extraordinary things.

Speaker 1: 3:25

Does it sound like he and I do the same thing? Yes, the difference is we always talk about the stories of things I'm doing, and he always wants to hide and not put any spotlight on him, and today that changes. So whether you've been part of Uncommon Live, you've had him come in to speak to your organization. If I can't make a speaking engagement, he's the first one who goes in my place. The feedback that he gets when he goes to speak is extraordinary. There's so much trust that we have with each other. Maybe you've met him at our boot camps, maybe you heard him on our Mental Toughness Forum, but it is time for you guys to learn more about Sean and the story that we're going to talk about today, I think, is a very powerful story for all of you. I've already made him uncomfortable, so now we're going to go all the way to making him uncomfortable. And for those that talk about the world that we don't believe in, which is balance, doesn't exist, just work really, really hard and then take time off. He's an amazing husband to Michelle. He's a wonderful father to Connor and Paige, always being intentional with what he can do to be a great dad, a great coach, a great business owner. He lives what he teaches every day, and this is a story that embodies that, and so I'm going to share the story and then I'm going to turn it over to him. No more being quiet, no more hiding in the limelight. We want him to have more opportunity to share the great things that makes him who he is. So here's who Sean O'Brien is.

Speaker 1: 4:55

Most people, when they train for a marathon, would tell the world these days right. You'd have a YouTube channel. You'd have an Instagram following. It'd be daily stories. Look at what I ate today to fuel my run. Look at my stretching that I went through. You'd highlight everything. So I'm leaving Kennedy's basketball game. Her and Isaac have been in the state tournament, as many of you have seen me posting about, and I get this message from Sean. And it was a Wednesday, kennedy's team had just won. We're grabbing a bite to eat afterwards and he's like Ben, I got to leave.

Speaker 1: 5:27

He left me a voice note and he says I got to tell you this story Like I. Just I want to thank you because the values that we stand on as coaches in our organization, which one of the fundamental beliefs is this you can only lead somebody to the level of discipline in which you live, which means that Sean and I have to do the things we say we're going to do. Not. Occasionally it's standard over feelings. Every damn day Now, vein pops out of my neck. He's not as intense as me, but there's an intensity in him where he follows through, and so he leaves me this message. He says I didn't get a chance to tell you, but I ran a marathon on sunday and I, like, had this smile on my face. Listen, of course you did. You didn't tell anybody that you were even training. And he says you're not going to believe what happened.

Speaker 1: 6:10

He said I get to mile 11 and I'm puking my brains out. He said I'm thinking like why did I even start this race? Had a horrible flu that's been going around the darn country. And he's like man I I don't even know why I started this race. I probably shouldn't have mile 11. I'm puking up like I probably should have left. I kept running. He says, finally, I get to mile 18. I'm doing the best I can. And he said the medics literally came on the course and they pulled me off the course. They wouldn't let me stay. And I could hear it in his voice Like his voice changed, tonality changed. And I could hear it in his voice Like his voice changed, tonality changed. He was really disappointed, like he would have done anything to finish that race. He said but the reason why I'm leaving you this message is not to tell you that they took me off the course and I didn't finish. So remember that was on Sunday, this is on Wednesday.

Speaker 1: 6:56

He said I woke up this morning and I was feeling really good and it was early in the morning and the kids were still asleep. And he goes I trained for the marathon. I told myself I was going to do it. We honor our commitments. It was dark outside. I woke up, I put on my running shoes and I went and ran a marathon and I think I had a combination of goosebumps, tears, all kinds of emotion when I messaged him back and I just said, sean. I said like I feel closer to you than I ever have because your uniqueness and this is why we get along so well and why I believe and I say this very humbly our clients get the results that they do. We have contracts where I've got clients that I've been with 11, 12, 13,. People have come to boot camps for 15 years. Sean has clients. It's now going on four or five, six year relationships with these coaching clients to where they just he doesn't get fired because he's different and he leads by example. And so, sean, I'm going to turn it over to you, I'm going to make you speak.

Speaker 1: 7:58

I know that was one of the longest introductions in burn episode history, but I I had to share all of that because you deserve it and I just want you to maybe walk through what was your feeling? What was it? We've done the burn before. People know your story, but let's just get right down to it. What the hell causes you to wake up on a Wednesday and go run a marathon when nobody had to do and, by the way, remember there was no Instagram had I not encouraged him to say look, dude, either I'm getting on the burn and telling your story or you're going to get on here and do it, but this will not be untold. He wasn't going to tell anybody. Why do you show up that way and how uncomfortable are you right now?

Speaker 2: 8:38

Yeah, it's about as uncomfortable as I get. Uh, you know how much I enjoy hearing others talk about me. I uh, first off, those words mean a lot, like I think the the journey we've been on together, like this relationship, it's uncommon, right, like the ability to do what we do and serve these amazing human beings and these organizations. It's a gift and for me, when you're given a gift, you have a responsibility, and I think that was, look, a marathon is not the story here. Like that's not what this story is about. A marathon is a very challenging thing. Very few people do it. It challenges you in different ways, but I think the story is that so much of the work that we do, like you said, you have to lead by example and honor your commitments. Like that was the driver. And so Sunday during the race and, by the way, I'll take it back one step further the only reason I signed up for the damn race in the first place was a member of one of our bootcamps who's a dear friend of mine, went to our bootcamp in Vegas a couple years ago was inspired enough to say you know, know what I'm going to transform my physical health and my well-being, and he went from not doing any physical demand to sign up for a damn iron man a year and a half later and he completed the iron man and I was out there the day that he completed it and I saw the struggle and the pain. And then I saw the joy and the like exuberation of accomplishment. I was like I gotta do this, like this individual went to the most extreme challenge of all time and he succeeded because he believed in me, bought into it. So that's what had me commit to the marathon and then, like you said, woke up that Sunday I knew something was off, didn't feel right, but in my mind is like I'll figure this out, I'll find a way to do this race. And then you hit the wall and it was as thick of a wall as I've ever met in my life and I don't have to get into all the details, but it wasn't a pretty scene out there. It was challenging and my body wasn't going to. Let me complete it.

Speaker 2: 10:27

A funny side story is that you know I had mom and dad out there. I had wife and kids on the way to see me. At the finish line, that same guy that we're referencing, that ran the Ironman. He was out there with his girlfriend who was an ER nurse. Thank God that played a role that day. But you know, you have all these people out there and as I started to realize the severity of like, ok, now I'm walking, now I start to jog and throw up again, now I'm walking again. And then your body starts to lock up because you're so dehydrated, then you start to get fuzzy. See white. I'm like, ok, this is probably the ending of this race. But as you see white, I'm like, okay, this is probably the ending of this race.

Speaker 2: 10:59

But the funny humor in it all was I had my dad, who my whole life has been, you know, right there telling me every time like you can do it, push through it, you can accomplish anything. And that day was a little different. He's like get off the course, get off the course. You're a father, you're a husband, you look like shit Like you. Your face. I've never seen you look this color, like you're not in a good place. You gotta get off. Like Sean, I'm like literally pulling on me, like gotta get off.

Speaker 2: 11:26

So that was a funny moment that he and I talk about now. But you know I go back like I get off the race. I was pissed like I was very pissed like. I had this visual of like meeting my kids at the finish line. I was gonna get DQ'd because you're not allowed to carry people across. I was was going to carry my two kids, a three year old and one year old, across the finish line. I was going to set the example right. I was going to honor the commitment. I didn't get to do that.

Speaker 2: 11:45

Instead, I ended up in a hotel room for the next five hours, shivering and throwing up and just in a horrible place, and it's like it was very, very frustrating and humbling, but it's how you respond to the events right, and we speak to this all the time with our clients. It's not the events, it's the response to the events. I had an unfortunate event and again, the marathon is not the important part, but what's important to me was to honor the commitment. So, monday and. Tuesday felt horrible, like it had a flu and it's going around, like you said, all over the place. Woke up Wednesday feeling a little bit better and woke up early enough.

Speaker 2: 12:14

I was like you know what, why not now? Why not go for this thing? And so we live by a park that has a three mile track and I had done some training at this track. And what was so funny, when I woke up and I looked at my wife was like hey, I'm going to go for a run. She's like what? She's like Sean, like are you kidding me? Like you haven't been able to get a bed the last two days. And then she realized like she knew no, I was like I'm going to go for a run and she's like how far. I was, like I'm going to see how far I can go. And she's like can you please just stay in touch with me?

Speaker 2: 12:44

So I grabbed my little hydration kit, my nutrition kit that I didn't get to use all of the days, a couple days before I go, put it at one spot on this track, at the park away, and honestly, I think the first 20 miles was out of like just anger, like I was frustrated, I was just pissed off. And then I hit mile 20, like okay, now we're in it, now we're really got to do something. Um, and you know, for me it was like it's completing it. And it was funny. When I was done I called michelle, told michelle like I was completing it. And it was funny, when I was done I called Michelle, told Michelle like hey, I'm alive, I made it, All is good.

Speaker 2: 13:23

And then I recorded it on Strava and that buddy, the same friend who had completed the Ironman. I didn't post it Right, but when you save something, your friends and I only have like three friends on Strava my silent self, he's one of them. Three friends on Strava, I mean, my silent self, he's one of them. He sees it. He's like you got to be kidding me. You got to be kidding me and I was like I'm not, like I did it, completed it. And again it goes back to not the marathon, it goes back to fulfilling the commitment, honoring the commitment. I had a lot of friends and family. They're like you know. In my opinion, that was the expectation At the end of the day.

Speaker 2: 14:03

They didn't care or not if I ran it Like they knew that I was going to do what I needed to do, but fulfilling the commitment was the important part and that's what stood out. And so fun story that never thought it would end that way but it's one that represents so much of what we stand for and what we get to do every day with our clients, and that was a huge part of my commitment to fulfilling it. Was it odd to go do it a couple?

Speaker 1: 14:25

days later. Yeah, I realized that's a little non-traditional, but I also recognize what it stands for and that was a commitment to honor. Yeah, it's just amazing hearing you that even the extended details makes it even way more powerful. How do you think that experience because I think a lot of times people don't realize what extends from choosing to honor a commitment like that Is there any thinking? Has there been some vision thinking? Have you already tied this to some other decisions you now know you can make or you can stay committed to as a result of doing that?

Speaker 2: 14:56

Yeah, you know, we talk about all the time like how you do one thing, how you do everything.

Speaker 2: 14:59

When you're locked into something like that and you fulfill it through adversity. You feel like a sense of horsepower that you don't traditionally have, confidence, that you don't traditionally have focus. I feel like all those things are the byproduct of that. And even going through the training program, you can't just show up and run 26 miles. Maybe someone can I'm not those people. So you go through a program, going through through the program by definition it's discipline and commitments. That's what it is, and so that shows up for me as a father and husband. That shows up for me with the way I prepare for our clients and the way we support our clients and the work that we do. It transcends into everything and that's what I think the power of again marathon aside, just the process of committing to something and honoring that process, the benefit is profound and it gives you a shitload of energy in the process, which is pretty nice too.

Speaker 1: 15:49

What was the burn that you thought about during that race beyond the commitment?

Speaker 2: 15:56

I love challenging tasks. I've always been a little bit different. In that way I'm competitive as all hell. I show it in my own way.

Speaker 2: 16:03

I do it in sort of my own fashion in the background, but I love to push myself, like I love to sign up for these extreme endurance events and runs and these tough mutters and Ragnars and all these things, and I like to push my body to physical places that is uncomfortable at its core and so even at mile, like 15, 16 you know, and dad's tugging on my sleeve, literally tugging on my sleeve. Um, I just like I could do this, I could figure this out right, and then when you get to a certain point, like okay, your body's failing, you can't. But like for me it was. I wanted to prove I can do something that I didn't think I could do at one point in time. That's what, what it was driven around.

Speaker 2: 16:38

And I've applied that same mentality to building a business, to supporting clients, to being in certain rooms, like I want to be uncomfortable and I want to put myself in these positions Maybe not with the flu on a marathon course. I don't want to do that again. But the idea behind it is it stands for so much of what I believe in Put yourself in uncomfortable positions is it stands for so much of what I believe in Put yourself in uncomfortable positions, challenge yourself in a way that you don't think is possible and some amazing things will come from it, and whether that's on a Wednesday morning in a park by your house, or whether that's on a marathon course, or whether that's in a boardroom, it'll show up for you, and that's my firm belief.

Speaker 1: 17:13

I'm a big believer that you know, nobody's ever going to invest in you unless you have an ability to invest in yourself. And a lot of times I think people hear that and they think that that means money. Right, like, well, I have to invest. No, it's. You have to invest in the belief. Right, like that belief, that investment you made in yourself becomes attractive for others to say, gosh, I've been battling something so small over here. I've given up on saying I'm going to read 10 pages in a book every day as a new habit to myself.

Speaker 1: 17:45

We're so naturally inclined in this world we live in to give up far too fast to allow our self-talk to drive our behavior and it's one of the things that allows us to be as close as we are and for it to be so natural for either you to go or I to go, even though your you know your haircuts take a little bit longer than mine. We have a lot in common other than other than hairstyles. But you know, it's one of those things to where there's such a uniqueness and a common bond there, because people know if they work with you, they work with me. You go to talk, go to the talk, I go, do the talk. You're going to get individuals who deeply care about building lasting relationships and holding you committed to what you, what you say you're going to do. So I really appreciate you coming on the show.

Speaker 1: 18:29

I know that this is uncomfortable.

Speaker 1: 18:31

I hope for those of you that have listened where this maybe made you uncomfortable it made you think I gave up, we're going to make it really easy in these show notes to reach out to Sean, connect with our team, have a conversation, you know, because if you're not and I am going to be specific here if you're not investing in yourself to have a coach or to have somebody who's holding you accountable, invest in your leadership at your company, how's anybody ever going to invest in you wanting to speak and coach?

Speaker 1: 19:01

Why would anybody hire you if you just think you have a story but you're not working on making that story better? There's so many different ways that we help people, from athletes to business professionals to aspiring coaches and speakers. Please reach out to us because there's intention that I wanted this story to inspire you, but there's also intention that more people in the world we've put them out there a little bit, but we're going to start putting them out there more now. More people need to know and understand what Sean does to hold people accountable and to empower and inspire them to stay connected to their burn, which is the ultimate secret weapon in driving self accountability. So, sean, I just I appreciate you, brother.

Speaker 2: 19:42

Thanks for making me uncomfortable and putting me on here, buddy. I appreciate it. It's part of this journey and, look, it's a story that can help someone. That's what this whole thing is about, so appreciate that.

Speaker 1: 19:51

Well, I appreciate you and how you continue to show up. And what an amazing, amazing story. One of the great stories I've heard in a long long time. I One of the great stories I've heard in a long, long time. I mean that's up there with the all-time greats for accountability, because that's something that I don't even know. What the percentage of people in the world that would actually do that two days later. It has to be one of the smaller percentages that could be possibly tracked.

Speaker 1: 20:14

I encourage all of you share this episode with somebody that needs it. But I also want you to look yourself in the mirror and I want you to be courageous. Do you think there's a way that Sean and I could help you more? Whether it's working with both of us through Uncommon Live, whether it's something we could do for your organization, whether it's Sean coming to an event, whether it's him working with your leadership team, is there something that you need? Is there accountability that you need?

Speaker 1: 20:38

And it's one of those things that starts with somebody like me to tell Sean we're putting you out there, we're going to make you uncomfortable, so maybe we just made you uncomfortable, but the action step is reach out. Nobody will know. Let's have a conversation and let's see if we can go win more together. Sean, I love winning with you. I love the opportunity to win and to help others win more through our work. And so, as you and I always like to say for guys like us, who are never finished, we always feel like we're just scratching the surface, and we hope that you have that never finished mindset and you allow us to win more with you.

Speaker 1: 21:12

Share this episode. We're going to share ways for you to get connected with us. Get connected with Sean. Allow him to have more of that voice. And until next week. This has been the Burn where we empower and inspire you to challenge yourself, to stay connected to that burn, to ignite that why and purpose, to do things that others won't, to continue to win when you win and, especially, to show up on the days you don't feel like it, even if that means two days after a marathon, you go run one in the dark, by yourself, with no cameras, nobody watching, but you did it because you committed to do it. Until next week, this has been the Burn.