Speaker 1: 0:00

The pain, the challenge, the adversity that you've been through. That has given you your greatest strength and you make sure, whatever you struggle with, for me it's that little boy that thought that my dad was right you have everything that you need inside you. My dad and I always struggled in our relationship. Nothing was ever good enough for my father. He beat me down with his words so badly. Sometimes I wish he would have put a fist in my face, because the bruises would have gone away a hell of a lot quicker than the 40 years of wounds that I had from his words. And I stood on my father's deathbed and my father, two years ago, for the first time in my life, told me that he was proud of me and my whole life I was looking for those words of my father being proud of me. I was searching for them. I was waking up every day connecting to that burn. You'd look at everything I'd been doing on the internet, winning championships, doing that, thinking I got it all taken care of, but something wasn't right. I was broken and I was searching for my dad's words. And finally he looks at me in between a bite of oatmeal and eggs, less than 24 hours before he died. I didn't know that he was going to die the next day Giving him a little coffee. And he looks up and he says, ben, I'm very proud of you. And he said those words and I didn't feel anything. I walked out of the door that day I called my wife and I said, babe, like I've been going my whole life wanting to hear these words and I was seeking the wrong truth. I ended up meeting the next week at a talk that I was giving for Emily Frisella for an event in St Louis. The Frisella family is dear friends of mine and I go to the event. Long story, but I had a staph infection removed from my ankle two days after my dad dies. It was crazy.

Speaker 1: 1:46

So I'm on these crutches, I meet dr Gabrielle Lyon, which is where I met Jen in January. You would think Jen and I had known each other for ten years. It feels like that's like brother and sister. It's amazing our connection. But it started in January because when you have the right people in your life, amazing things happen.

Speaker 1: 2:03

And so here I am. I've got this staph infection that I'm recovering from. Dr Lyon sees me. I'm getting ready to go on stage. I show up on crutches, like normally when I speak, it's hard to keep me in a chair, like I'm like let me go. And so I'm having a tough time right now. So here's what I'll share with you, okay. So here I am, dr Lyon comes up and I'm sitting in this chair and I just want to go. I want to get up but I can't. They put me in this chair and Dr Lyon says to me. Dr Lyon says to me do you need a red light? Do you need this? Do you need that? Do you need this? And I was like I've never met this woman, but I'm like I think this woman needs to become my doctor.

Speaker 1: 2:39

A week later, she and I are on a phone call. And here I am with Dr Lyon on this phone call. It's like I thought I was going to talk about the recovery of the staph infection and all of a sudden she starts asking me about me Open up your heart, be transparent, what's going on with you? I said my father had just died. And then, finally, she says you know what I want to do. I want to give you your mental freedom. And I thought what doctor in the world has ever said to me I want to give you your mental freedom.

Speaker 1: 3:05

She introduces me to a woman named Dr Silva, my first interaction with Dr Silva. Dr Silva says Ben, I want you to think of these gates. I want you to think of these gates as I think of these gates. I want you to think of gates in your life. So I think of these gates. I think of these big wrought iron gates. They're 30 feet high each side of them. So I'm thinking about these gates. She says, ben, I want you to look at yourself and just picture yourself walking through those gates. And then, when you walk through those gates, I want you to close those gates. She said can you feel yourself on the other side with those closed gates? I said absolutely I can. She says you have the power to lock those gates and only let the right people in every single day gates and only let the right people in every single day.

Speaker 1: 3:48

Jamie for me, on April the 4th, as a result of what she put in that book, I read it at the time that I needed it and so all of a sudden, I'm reading from the pages and the doctor says to me this book has hit you. Your father is still pulling at you. You need to love that little boy inside you because he's strong. So I want to encourage you. This is not about me, this is about you. As you leave here to go home, you make sure you connect to that burn that's inside of you. You make sure, when you walk through those gates, that you remind the pain, the challenge, the adversity that you've been through that has given you your greatest strength and you make sure whatever you struggle with for me it's that little boy that thought that my dad was right you have everything that you need inside you. Look at these individuals as an example and you make sure you put the right people in your life and you lock those damn gates every single day and go to work. We'll see you next time.