Speaker 1: 0:00

What's something that people might overlook in the cyberspace. That's a risk that we as a general population should be aware of that oftentimes we're overlooking today in this fast-paced world of cyber and technology.

Speaker 2: 0:13

Anytime around the holiday season is one of the biggest, one of the most successful scams that people fall for is a message saying your delivery has been delayed, you know? Click on this link and update the delivery time. So, that's a really, really bad one.

Speaker 1: 0:45

Welcome back to another episode of the Burn. I am Ben Newman and you now know how we do this. Every single week, we're going to bring you a story of an athlete, an entertainer, a celebrity, an entrepreneur, somebody from the business world who helps us understand that why and purpose is not enough. There's this underlying burn that ignites your why and purpose and causes you to show up on the days you don't feel like it, and especially after you win. Today's guest knows all about winning. You know, one of the things I've recognized about success today and I actually this is on the back of her book that she gave me the opportunity to write a testimonial for. I believe that in the world we live in today, many people are skipping the steps to achieve success, and one of the things that I love and admire about Judy Selby and how she shows up in life is that she does not skip any steps, and even though she is a decorated, award-winning attorney I'm talking 34 years of experience there's no skipping steps when you have a decorated career the way that she has had. I want everybody to recognize, yes, a lot of what her focus and message and her work today, which you're going to learn all about is in the legal field. If you really pay attention to the details, her lessons, her untold stories are actually lessons for all of us to make sure that we don't skip those steps. Now Judy's going to be mad at me. Before I welcome her, I'm going to make her listen to this because she is so humble that she is not going to be comfortable with me sharing any of this, but I don't care. This is my show, this is the burn, and I get to say and do what I want on the show.

Speaker 1: 2:40

Judy Selby has been part of big law for a long, long time. She is a decorated, award-winning attorney. Her work has been recognized in the Wall Street Journal and Forbes and other online decorated sites. Judy was recognized in 2023 by Zywave as the Cyber Attorney of the Year. It's one of the most decorated awards. It was a worldwide award. This was one of the most distinguished recognitions in Judy's decorated, decorated career. I could literally read you a whole paragraph of awards she's won. This one was incredible. And all of the awards, all the recognition I can tell you what matters the most and what is so special about Judy was her relationships with her clients and the work that she did and the serving of those clients and doing the right thing.

Speaker 1: 3:39

And one of the exciting things that we're going to highlight today is the amazing transition. Exciting things that we're going to highlight today is the amazing transition that Judy has made to no longer be an attorney. She now is a certified coach. She's always been a sought after speaker in the legal field, but now you're going to find her at conventions all over the world speaking, sharing what she calls her untold stories, which just by chance happened to be part of her bestselling book, which is the Untold Secrets to Thrive as a Lawyer and this might be one of my favorite subtitles out of any book ever written which is even if you didn't go to Harvard or Yale and I think many people are skipping steps to success.

Speaker 1: 4:25

But I also think sometimes people don't realize you don't have to go to Harvard or Yale to have a big opportunity. It's about who you are, how you show up in life, it's about your heart, your love of other people, and that's what Judy Selby is all about. So this is long overdue, but I think the timing is right to welcome the best selling author, which I'm so happy to be able to say, and the award-winning attorney, the speaker, my friend, a member of our Standard Elite Mastermind, judy Selby, welcome to the burn.

Speaker 2: 5:01

Hi Ben, Thank you so much. What an intro, holy moly. So grateful to you all, the support you've given me and the opportunity to be here today. Thank you.

Speaker 1: 5:13

Oh, you are so welcome and I am so, so excited to be able to do this. And I'd love to start. Judy, you know both of us have been impacted by our parents. You know positive and negative stories for me and for you. So much of who you are came from. You know the burn that was instilled in you from watching how your parents showed, showed up in life. Can you share a little bit about how your, your passion and your drive came from watching your parents?

Speaker 2: 5:42

Yeah, you know it's. It's interesting you brought that up and today's the anniversary of my mom's passing and it was back in 1997. So it's been a long time. But my mom, like your mom, had, you know, some health issues growing up.

Speaker 2: 5:59

My dad was a blue collar worker, worked on floating cranes on the waterfront. They were both adamant, my mom in particular, that my sister and I focus on education, even though they never went to college, focused on us going to college. That was not a negotiation point and I watched my dad work so hard, come home at night, hands, feet cracked open from working in the cold in the winter, and just this discipline of showing up all the time, my mom, when she was not feeling well, in and out of the hospital, always showing up and instilling in us to be better and to do more. I don't think anybody envisioned that I would go to law school. And to do more, I don't think anybody envisioned that I would go to law school. In fact, when I thought about going to law school, which was a second career for me, I had been a trainer and a coach and after five knee surgeries I realized, well, you know, you better get a sit down job.

Speaker 2: 7:04

And so I went to law school. I had no idea what I was doing in the, in the application process, but honestly, I could not even say those words out loud I want to be a lawyer, I want to go to law school. It just wasn't something I felt that, you know, we did, we as a family growing up in Brooklyn, that we did this kind of thing, and then for some reason, I just I just did it. But you know, thinking back on all the sacrifices my parents, my grandparents made for me and my sister, and you know, that consistency of just showing up, showing up, showing up, and that's what drives me to this very day.

Speaker 1: 7:43

It's the dedication in my book, it's that blue collar work ethic that I brought to the practice and more and more about you and your success was you always doing things to challenge yourself personally and professionally and I'd love to touch on that and you know it's something that you know you don't really highlight in the book is one of the untold secrets. But I would argue that I believe that is one of your untold secrets for success for anybody, not just young attorneys. Your untold secrets for success for anybody, not just young attorneys, not just an attorney who's getting ready to become a partner, or veteran attorneys that are now turning to you for consulting advice to say, hey, judy, what was it in 34 years that I'm not paying attention to? That I need to pay attention to, but whether it be running and training and challenging yourself, how important was it for you to continue to challenge yourself personally, to have a clear mind, to become the attorney that you were?

Speaker 2: 8:49

Yeah, absolutely critical. You know when you and it's not just attorneys but a lot of professionals. But there are very, very disturbing statistics that are relevant just to attorneys of not handling the pressure well, not, you know, turning to certain ways of dealing with the stress of being a lawyer through alcohol or other kind of bad behaviors, or just not dealing with the stress having emotional blow ups and, you know, being on the in the fetal position on their office floor. So I always found that two things really really helped me exercise, which I may have overdone a time or two over the years, but you know, exercise like early morning, you know part of that 5am gym group and and personal development. You know, which is how I found you Learning how to talk to yourself in the right way, learning you know how to have a bigger perspective on life.

Speaker 2: 9:55

Little things I say to myself all the time you know, don't go through your day looking for things to be offended by, go through your day looking for things to be offended by and, you know, working gratitude into your daily practice.

Speaker 2: 10:09

Things like that are really, really important and having some structure around what you're doing every day, things you can control.

Speaker 2: 10:19

So for me, I'm pretty well known in my geeky cyber insurance world for being active and providing content on LinkedIn, and so it's just a matter of every single morning. I get up at some crazy hour I won't even talk about it and just popping online and doing some research with the mindset of will this add value to my audience, to my clients, people like that. So I think bringing that mindset of adding value, being of service, always been so important to me. Approaching my clients, relationships with my clients and even people who are not my clients but maybe someday there'll be a client as a relationship instead of a transaction and with a thought always in mind how do I make their job easier? How do I make their life easier? So these are kind of the things that I've incorporated in my life and I think when you take that spotlight off yourself and adopt some of the good practices around managing stress and all the anxiety that comes with being a professional today, those things have served me well over all these years.

Speaker 1: 11:38

So your blue collar work ethic that burned that fire from your parents. You then making a choice to be disciplined beyond just your work. You choosing to not skip those steps has led to you really paying attention to the details, which has led to some amazing untold stories, which I just love, love, love the title of the book. And we're going to make it so easy for everybody. No worries, no stress. We're going to link the Amazon link for everybody to be able to get easy access to Judy's book, as well as connecting with her on LinkedIn, where the depth in which she shares information to make a difference literally every day.

Speaker 1: 12:18

You just don't find it online. It's really incredible. So we're going to make it difference literally every day. You just don't find it online. It's really incredible. So we're going to make it easy to stay connected. But, judy, I'd love to dive into some of these untold stories, but I really believe, because of your burn everything I'm mentioning not skipping those steps you were able to now have stories that are these incredible success stories where you're now recognized around the world as being an expert for over three decades of work. What would you say is your favorite untold story without giving away the book, or maybe is there an untold story you'd love to share that you don't share in the book.

Speaker 2: 12:55

Well, I have some favorite stories from the book and one of them was very, very early in my career and it was with my, the most impactful mentor. I've been blessed with mentors over the years, whether they knew they were mentoring me or not Some great people that I worked with and one who recently passed away, his name is Doug Hauser with, and one who recently passed away. His name is Doug Hauser, but it was early one Monday morning and I was walking down the hallway of the office and he and I just kind of crossed paths and he said morning Judy. And I said morning Judy. He goes, how are you doing? I said I'm great, how are you? And he stopped right there and he said that's why I love working with you, that's why I want you on my team, because you're so upbeat and you're passionate, and that's just kind of my way.

Speaker 2: 13:46

Anyway, it wasn't contrived, but what a lesson that I learned. Here's somebody who's a named partner at a massive law firm, tons of responsibility, and what he's looking for is somebody to work with who doesn't say oh yeah, another Monday. You know, I can't wait till Friday. You know he's looking for somebody to match. The reason he was successful in part was his level of enthusiasm and positivity and energy that he brought to the workplace, and that's what he was looking for in people that he worked with. As I became a more senior lawyer and started hiring, interviewing and hiring hundreds and hundreds of lawyers over the years, I came to see how critically important that is, and so that was a that's one of my favorite stories. It's such a small, small lesson in the book, but or you know, but it to me it was very, very impactful in how I approach my career and how I approach every single day and every interaction with other people.

Speaker 1: 14:54

I am going to have and I'm going to ask, just with the threat on the cyber side and people's fears and doubts and understanding, I I am going to have you, before we finish today, share something that people should be aware of, that happens in the cyberspace that maybe they overlook. But before we do that, I actually want to lean in a little bit further on something you just shared. It was something I planned on asking about and it's really the intangibles. You know, back to your subtitle, that you didn't have to go to Harvard or Yale.

Speaker 1: 15:24

One of the things I've always admired in stories that you do share is how you would pay attention to little details, whether you were interviewing somebody who was wanting to join the firm or helping somebody who wanted a promotion. Because I think this is one of those lessons where you realize this book is not just for attorneys, the lessons you teach and the things you coach on. It's really not just for attorneys. It's some of the intangibles, the basics, that are overlooked. I think of one of my favorite stories. I mean it seems so basic, but the person who came late for a Zoom meeting didn't even know how to unmute their screen. I mean completely unprepared for an interview, it seems like the younger generation. I think this is important. Even though they know so much about technology, they're missing important details on how to dress, showing up on time, making good eye contact, some of the things that are really basic. How important are those basic details to become a partner in a law firm one day?

Speaker 2: 16:25

Yeah, it's really well to even get your foot in the door. It's really, really important and it's challenging. You know, when you think about a lot of younger generation attorneys, there are a lot of latchkey kids, a lot of communicating through their phones instead of talking to other people. And then COVID, of course, everybody's locked, you know, in their houses, and so they didn't have the opportunity. You couldn't even go to the store, you couldn't even go to a Starbucks and get, you know, get a cup of coffee, and you know, and it's very, very challenging then to ask these young people right out of school, flip a switch, get on a get on a zoom, or show up in an office building with a bunch of people who are older than you probably and you, and who come from a different experience in terms of learning how to interact with other people and fit right in.

Speaker 2: 17:26

You know and just know what to do and how to act, and so what I encourage and there's a lot of tips in the book about this is you know, lean on the fact that you're a digital native and that you can come into a workplace and not be intimidated by technology, Like Ben and I. You have said many times over the years, like, yeah, even though I'm a cyber lawyer a decorated cyber lawyer as you say you're kind of like, oh no, I hate this stuff, but these younger people, they embrace it. So lean on that. Utilize those strengths. I hate this stuff, but these younger people, they embrace it. So lean on that. Utilize those strengths, but work on the areas where you may need to work. So, example practice going into a Starbucks with your phone in your pocket, or in your bag and small talk is kind of a dirty word with certain people.

Speaker 2: 18:20

Learn how to make some small talk. Make some eye contact. Teach yourself. Put yourself in that uncomfortable position when you show up for an interview. Don't sit there in the lobby of the office scrolling on your phone. Keep your phone away. Use this as an opportunity to look around, See how people interact with each other. Learn from this experience. Be super friendly with everybody, because there may be some annoying person like me who works there who will come out and ask the receptionist hey, how was Ben when he showed up at the interview? Was?

Speaker 1: 18:56

he friendly to you?

Speaker 2: 18:59

Was he respectful to you? Did he engage with you? Because you want to know you're hiring somebody you want to work with every day. So obviously this advice is more for more than just for lawyers. But you know, walk into the office, you know for the if you're going in for the interview and, like if I were interviewing with you right now, I'd say, ben, is that really a Jerry Rice jersey you have behind you? You know, do something like that to kind of break the tension, personalize the situation and not be intimidated by it. But you do this. I think you do this through practice, through practice, and realize that if you're being interviewed, they kind of want this to work. There's a need in this law firm. They're not looking to exclude people, they're looking to include people. So come in there with that mindset. But just practice these kind of soft skills. That will serve you well, not just through the interview but for your whole career.

Speaker 1: 19:58

I cannot recommend it enough. You know. I mean six amazing steps, really told in an untold secrets format. I just, I cannot recommend the book enough. It's just beautifully written, the manner in which you tell stories, the manner in which you make it easy for individuals to read and engage Just an incredible, incredible book I'd love for you to share because I think it is important because of your experience. What's something that people might overlook in the cyberspace? That's a risk that we as a general population should be aware of that oftentimes we're overlooking today in this fast-paced world of cyber and technology.

Speaker 2: 20:39

Yeah, I would be careful. I would spend a little bit of time online looking to see how much of your information is out there. Maybe not be too free to give out your cell phone number. If you have your cell phone on your email signature block or on a business card or something, you might want to rethink that, because that's a pretty good piece of information for bad guys to have. Also, be careful about how much you're sharing on social media, because what you know, the more you say on social media, the easier it is for bad guys to send you a very targeted and specific what we call a phishing email or text message. Like hey, judy, I saw you at that conference in New York the other day and you had mentioned this or that, and so they can fashion using ChatGPT and other AI tools, by the way, to help with the English and the grammar and make these messages look very professional. So be careful about how much information you're sharing and you know it's so cliche at this point, but watch clicking the links.

Speaker 2: 21:55

This time of year and I'm not sure when this will be shown, but you know, anytime around the holiday season is one of the biggest, one of the most successful scams that people fall for is a message saying your delivery has been delayed. You know, click on this link and update the delivery time. So that's a really, really bad one. So you know, everybody has what we refer to as breach fatigue. We get these notices, emails, letters. You know nobody reads them anymore, but it really is important to pay attention to those things. Change your passwords, don't reuse your passwords.

Speaker 1: 22:34

I'll you know when I think about your work now with Selby Strategies, which this is a big statement, but I think the impact that you're going to have just on the broad scope because you believe in going so deep with your clients that, whether it's group coaching that I know is going to be a part of things that you're going to be building, and a webinar series that's going to be coming out, and all these different initiatives through Selby Strategies I think the impact that you're going to have in these next chapters is going to be even more significant than the 34 years, because you're able to do this in so many different ways.

Speaker 1: 23:18

And so somebody listening, who's a business owner if you just take a look at what was just shared on that cyber side Judy could come in and be an amazing speaker for your leadership team and share some of these secrets to make sure that people are protecting themselves in your organization. So I foresee, judy and maybe this is a new market I'm just opening up on the burn for you is that we may not just find you at legal conference conventions around the world. It might be the need for individuals like you, because of your experience and knowledge, to help organizations grow in many different ways.

Speaker 2: 23:51

Well, you know, I'm at that stage of my career which was, you know, kind of the impetus for making the change is. I'm at the impact stage now and you know it's funny because one of the hardest parts about making the decision was, you know, the impact that I had and value with my law firm clients. But I think I can have a bigger impact here. My mission is impact more than a million professionals by the end of next year, next year, and so any way to do that. I've been blessed with tremendous opportunities and experiences over the past 34 years and to be able to, you know, add value to people's lives in any way. You know that. You know that would be helpful to them. I'm certainly open to doing that.

Speaker 1: 24:41

Yeah Well, as I had mentioned, we are going to make it so easy for everybody to stay connected to visit the website for Selby Strategies, to get connected on LinkedIn, to buy your copies of the Untold Secrets. You are going to love, love, love the book and really an amazing book from the writing to you know the partnership with Game Changer Publishing and just the amazing job that was done to produce this book. It is just so well done and, in a world where I said people are skipping steps, you did not skip a single step in terms of making sure that a reader had something that they could read, but also take those six steps and implement. So, judy, I can't wait to watch the next awards that I'm gonna have you back on the bird and rave about those awards and make you be mad at me that I mentioned too much on those awards for the next one A little mad at you.

Speaker 2: 25:37

No, Ben, thank you. Thank you for the opportunity it's been. You've been such a blessing in my life, as you know. None of this would have happened without your advice, your coaching work. Very, very grateful to you, Very grateful for you.

Speaker 1: 25:53

Well, judy, I am grateful for you and so much love and respect and appreciation for the relationship and friendship that we've developed. And the best is yet to come and you know for all of you listening. I think it's important that you share this episode and here's why I'm going to say this, for many reasons. Number one you hear me say depth over width a lot, but if you pay attention to the relationship that Judy and I have built, there's a lot of deep conversations we've had and growth and leaning in and challenge, and it's a relationship that I look forward to. Every interaction that we have, whether it be a text message or a Zoom call or an in-person event, it's just been wonderful.

Speaker 1: 26:41

But the other thing I want you to pay attention to is Judy's success and not skipping those steps. And I think we live in this world where everybody wants success overnight and people have heard me say it so many times long obedience in the same direction with aggressive patience, and some of Judy's biggest best awards and the fortune and Forbes and Reuters and all the recognition. A lot of that stuff happens towards the end of your career. She was recognized throughout her entire career, but a lot of these big awards was a culmination of receiving them before she made her transition. Everybody wants that quick success, but it's a commitment to doing things over long periods of time that give you that platform to create those next stages of impact.

Speaker 1: 27:28

So I'd love for you to share this episode with somebody who maybe needs to slow down, maybe somebody who needs to put that phone in their pocket and have that real interaction with somebody at a starbucks. I love that, judy, because those are the things I think far too many people miss on the road to success these days, and I firmly believe our younger generations, the ones who can communicate, the ones who can put a sentence together, the ones who can make eye contact, the ones who can shake a hand and the ones who can stand if you listen to what Judy said stand in a waiting room and not have to fidget and talk to people those are the ones who are going to win at the highest level. Judy, I can't thank you enough for coming on the burn and I appreciate you so much.

Speaker 2: 28:11

Thank you Ben Appreciate it.

Speaker 1: 28:13

Once again, we're going to make it so easy for you to connect with Judy, whether it be LinkedIn, her website, everything going on with Selby Strategies, and make sure stay tuned. Linkedin, her website, everything going on with Selby Strategies, and make sure, stay tuned. There's amazing things that she has in the works, from a webinar series that you're not going to want to miss to group coaching opportunities, to one-on-one coaching opportunities, to consulting and speaking. Make sure you stay connected. We're going to make it easy for you. Please share this episode, Please like this episode, please subscribe and make sure that you come back and see us next week, where we're going to tell another story of somebody who's recognized. You may find your blue collar work ethic through your burn to ignite that why and purpose and to make sure you show up on the days you don't feel like it and especially after you win. This has been the burn and we'll see you next week.